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  1. Replies
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    I'm afraid I don't really have time to read a...

    I'm afraid I don't really have time to read a whole work and give it the attention it needs (between PhD proposals, my own writing and trying to earn a living, they keep me pretty busy).
    But it...
  2. Thread: Values

    by Bonsai Ent
    Replies
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    4,756

    I couldn't work out if this was meant to be an...

    I couldn't work out if this was meant to be an ironic and funny piece where the narrator was a character... Or whether these are your actual opinions.

    If they're your actual opinions then your...
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    Well, you've posted quite a bit there. Hopefully...

    Well, you've posted quite a bit there. Hopefully you'll forgive me for only looking at a tiny portion.



    Your opening line



    Firstly, this is intertextual in that it mirrors the opening of...
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    I'm fond of this one by Thomas Merton Dear...

    I'm fond of this one by Thomas Merton


    Dear God,
    I have no idea where I am going.
    I do not see the road ahead of me.
    I cannot know for certain where it will end.
    Nor do I really know...
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    You could just as easily argue that the main...

    You could just as easily argue that the main character is Eve because if she didn't eat the apple non of it would have happened...

    I think using relevance to narrative causality as a technique for...
  6. I have an affection for lovecraft. I found you...

    I have an affection for lovecraft. I found you broke up the narration with lots of asides and qualifiers like "I suppose" and "as I See it"
    These can help give a sense of his character (which I...
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    Which is why I apologised in advance and...

    Which is why I apologised in advance and explained why I was doing it.
    I'm not just being frivolous, my stuff does get published and I'd prefer not to copy-paste it directly into a forum.
    I hope no...
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    Lol! if you lack the willingness to follow a...

    Lol! if you lack the willingness to follow a link, by all means don't do it. No need to get your knickers in a twist.
    I'm hard pressed to see why you think reading it on another website is such an...
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    A Tolerable Mischief

    http://goo.gl/yKRwM

    Something I'm playing about with (in google docs as I submit a lot of my work and publishing folk get pernickety if it's posted online somewhere. Sorry for inconvenience &c.)...
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    Well if it's done through telling you need only...

    Well if it's done through telling you need only write:
    "Here is Frank, Frank is common"
    and job's a good'n.

    So I'd lean towards showing.

    I'd infer the definition of common from the...
  11. Thread: Revenge

    by Bonsai Ent
    Replies
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    1,152

    I think there's a lot of nuts-and-bolts work to...

    I think there's a lot of nuts-and-bolts work to be done here.
    This opening paragraph seems to have only two sentences and yet is packed with detail. The words won't bear the weight, the sentences...
  12. For those in the UK the Norwich Writers Centre is...

    For those in the UK the Norwich Writers Centre is a wealth of useful stuff, also their yearly esculator award has given a lot of new writers their first good break.
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    Ah, my mistake. Teach me for not reading what you...

    Ah, my mistake. Teach me for not reading what you were correcting.
    I'm just too used to spellcheckers trying to remove my U's even when they're set to British English (British English itself is an...
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    Hillwalker, Poured isn't a typo, it is the...

    Hillwalker,
    Poured isn't a typo, it is the British spelling. Heathen :P
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    If you get stuck in a short story it really is...

    If you get stuck in a short story it really is worth putting it down for a bit rather than forcing it.
    A really good short story takes a bit of time to write, there's the fact of it.
    And once...
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    There's often an assumption that faith is a...

    There's often an assumption that faith is a single cohesive idea (an idea that probably has it's origins in the New Atheist discourse that assumes its criticism of western Christianity is universally...
  17. I think with the biographical details you can get...

    I think with the biographical details you can get away with them, but you'll need more of them. You rush through the story of him learning to stand up for himself in a paragraph.
    Either much less,...
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    Jesus is also a character in The Master and...

    Jesus is also a character in The Master and Margarita...


    My response to it would depend entirely on the writing.
    I'd have no objection to the idea of him as a character.
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    Lol, yes, I understand what you've said, but sin...

    Lol, yes, I understand what you've said, but sin is a religious concept that exists within a very specific framework of pre-existing beliefs. You can't use it to scare people into belief unless they...
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    Yes but your argument is still circular. In order...

    Yes but your argument is still circular. In order to believe in sin, you need to believe the religion in which sin is a concept. So if you don't already believe in one of the Abrahamic religions,...
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    This is circular reasoning, sin IS a religious...

    This is circular reasoning, sin IS a religious belief :P
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    Ta da ...

    Ta da

    http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=1984+map&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en&client=safari#

    I think my copy had a map in
  23. Thread: Profane

    by Bonsai Ent
    Replies
    2
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    840

    Thanks, Delta40 Glad you liked it

    Thanks, Delta40

    Glad you liked it
  24. Thread: Character

    by Bonsai Ent
    Replies
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    3,763

    It sounds like you're fighting your own...

    It sounds like you're fighting your own characters Darcy. Let them be what they are.
  25. Thread: Profane

    by Bonsai Ent
    Replies
    2
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    840

    Profane

    Nobody who is anybody
    shows up dead
    to their own funeral

    Dying is faux pas
    In a resurrecting faith
    It would be rude
    At best
    To make a display
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