Jerry, I read it and forgot to breathe! due to which I didn't miss a thing, hopefully... a strong poem!
Bar
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Jerry, I read it and forgot to breathe! due to which I didn't miss a thing, hopefully... a strong poem!
Bar
Hey Jer. (like Jer.usalem!)! Do you remember me a bit???
in this poem, her teeth (from white to yellow to red) are the illustration of her rapid decay... and qualification for the adequate bin......
Let this prayer be never fulfilled for lack of gods.
You are here, Doc! And with this sublime poem... I dare not ask if it is a recent beverement. Your poetry defies Years, and this poem is a blessing you beg for...
"When my sparkle too is...
It is a touching, fine poem, Dieter, rending Paris wounds and atmosphere these days so well, while contained and discreet. I loved reading it, enjoyed (as always) your sense of poetry and the power...
Both poems are lovely! I enjoyed them'a lot.
(do you realy think pigeons only pretend they don't see or mind you???? :smile5: )
Bar
An amazing evocation behind Chagall's moons, Miyako, the protagonist's solidary identification is so touching. Thank you.
And be well,
Bar
Good to read you again! Concise and tells loads... but why "was" and not "were"?
Hope you're doing fine, Prince,
Drishat shalom,
Bar
A lovely poem, Miyako! A what a good idea to have given Laura a voice.
by miyako
Beautifully, gracefully atmospheric... A gift... Thanks a lot for it. A wonderful poem.
Best from Bar
, Don't want to feed this words' river further, so just to end: it took me a minute or two to rewrite (and suggest, without imposing, through doing so, sparing time) - while commenting would have...
If I often find it difficult to explain (lack of specialized vocabulary in the field) what/why I suggest such or other changes, I still got the meaning of your poem, which I found to be of value;...
A beautiful way to disapper, Dieter... and in the Parc Montsouris with that! "Winterpale" is such an effective word to use, and it prepares the reader for your disappearing... you have quite a...
Hey Hawk,
As you know, my capacity to deliver a proper comment is limited. But I wanted to relate. So this is how I'd see your poem as more collected and better flowing (I think it's worth...
It's one of those mornings I can finally access PP for a moment and read your latest very good poem. .. It makes me feel uneasy, you speak out my thoughts... but you do it with beauty.
"... and...
I like your first image very much, it's beautiful and well found. I'd stay with the water milieu and logs simile to the end of the poem as they suggest the meetings' desired fortuity. The sudden...
Another excellent poem in this (budding?) aspect of your poetic sensibility and skill.
I love it all but especially "the yielding bed/the crushed roof of a Cadillac" parallel/contrast, subtle and...
Blessessed be your words with the power of realization....
bravo
and best from
Bar
What does LLAP mean?
How come I have missed this one! It is an amazing evocation, so powerful it took me in within seconds! The economy of words only densifies the effect. Some of your poems (this for sure) are blessings...
Thanks Ta. I read your initial poem intuitively, trying to feel and "hear" it. Only Hawk's comment brought my attention to form. How ambitious. Now, how many syllables are there really in L3, I count...
Interestingly, my initial feeling was it was a single S poem and personally, I would have preferred it to have remained so, even though, as I already said, your experimentaion is compelling for the...
especially
"to laugh out loud
when people tell important truths" -
what else is there to life, indeed.
Thanks for your (Paris?) poem and
best from
Hello Ta,
from L7 one starts to suspect there is regret beyond the - how symbolic a description of the fig tree (which I find so poignantly effective that it chokes). Then LL 8 and following...