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Premature: like prehistory but with more armpit-induced fart noises.

Balderdash

Spam email: how Pam, female, filled out a form when she was drunk.

Sneaky:

Gimme: Anglo-Saxon spelling of Jimmy.

Shelter:

Rabid: Pompey Bum's avatar

Parson: like a whoreson except that his house is owned by the church

Parrot:

No worry, she fine.

Rabid

Cobra: ladies' undergarment for Siamese twins

Levity: like gravity but funnier

Bauble: the cry of a turkey with a cold

Bangle:

Bunkum: A fortified shelter in the event of nuclear wum

Cobra

Polyester: one convicted of polyestery

Phylum

Satan: anagram for Santa, who is the grim and child-eating god Saturn's inverted Saturnalian form.

Satin

The Shadow: the olfactory organ (hence: the shadow nose)

Trident

Tartan: a light brown skin hue white people get when they lie on their driveways in the summer.

Loquacious

Ulcer: a British name for Northern Ireland.

Tornado

Frigate: what you say when the boat is late and you decide to fly.

Smegma: molten rock beneath the earth's crust. Only really, really disgusting.

Sphinx

Dog lover: one who sees cats primarily as feeders.

Wiggle room

Whistle: an eerie method dogs have of harassing women without actually making a sound.

Catcall

Jerky: Herky's situationally inappropriate brother

Lampoon

Wish fulfillment: what wishes could reach if they would just relax and go with it.

Naked mole rat:

Roar: the seashell-like sound inside TC's head. It's okay, we're friends. Really, we're like this all the time. :)

Boar:

Rare: uncooked bovine tissue.

Roar:

Organic: a broccoli's sexual response

Raw

Vivisectionist

One who is compassionate enough not to kill an animal before passing it's meat around.

Quincunx

Snake oil: like baby oil but slimier.

Coxcomb

Pop: Onomatopoeia/Palindrome meaning burst/father/soft drink: "Stop! You must not hop on top of Pop!"

Crustacean

Chicken suit: dragging some pecker to court. Hey, how else are you going to re-coop your egg-spences?

Igneous

Scamp: a place parents send children in scummer.

Sasquatch: As I may have said before, a preternatural being who wanders the American woodland in a gorilla suit.

Butter squash: