Search:

Type: Posts; User: loki456; Keyword(s):

Search: Search took 0.02 seconds.

  1. Thread: Scared

    by loki456
    Replies
    6
    Views
    2,743

    yeah that's definitely better, don't need the...

    yeah that's definitely better, don't need the comma after 'but' though.

    first part is good, I like it as an intro... it is coming along quite well.

    the sentence in the first paragraph that...
  2. Thread: Scared

    by loki456
    Replies
    6
    Views
    2,743

    Hey, I just had another read, and the sentence...

    Hey,
    I just had another read, and the sentence still stands out. I'm guessing that what i'm feeling is a sense of 'no duh', of course if she was allowed to live, she would have had a life of her...
  3. Thread: Scared

    by loki456
    Replies
    6
    Views
    2,743

    Interesting, dark piece. Something I definitely...

    Interesting, dark piece.
    Something I definitely enjoy writing myself.
    I like the imagery you portray of the heartbeat of his victim, thrilling him as if the beat itself was shaking the ground....
Results 1 to 3 of 3