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Beautiful, like 108 I haven't been reading much poetry lately. But I like this one; it's a story written in a poem, all wrapped up with a twist at the end. Well done!

Thanks DATo, I did have a good holiday and I'm glad you liked the story. I was a little annoyed by this one at first. On my preliminary run-through, I was trying to save Seth's memories bit as some...

Happy thanksgiving to you as well. I also have been scarcely on the Internet lately. We must have had the same idea because I posted a story myself before finding yours. I do always find it hard not...

Awww, I think you just broke my heart! I love it.

So, I started this short story in response to a writing prompt that I found. For reasons that will become obvious later, I put the prompt at the bottom of the page. Any response, feedback, opinions,...

Hmm, I sure wasn't expecting ghost story out of this. I guess the voice didn't sound like the stereotypical aching tension in your heart leading you to believe something scary is going to happen. You...

Yes, disdain makes more more sense!

Agreeing with hounddog, the writing is not bad. All writing could use improvement. I think I know what you meant by the waitresses subconsciously stigmatizing the man as selfish (?) because he was...

I'm not sure whether to laugh or be completely disturbed. Perhaps, you meant for both.

Hmm, at first I was skeptical because this is somewhat beyond my typical scope of genres. However, I felt that this has a lot of potential. There are some grammar issues, most importantly the switch...

That's an excellent suggestion DATo, I love it! I guess because my husband doesn't read, I just didn't think that part through.

Yea, I noticed and corrected some of the grammar issues. I'll have to go back and fix the other issues. Unfortunately, It's difficult to type with a cat on your laptop. ;-) Suggestions on how to...

I don't know how to explain this one; it's just been hanging out in my head for awhile. Thanks for reading!

MEMORIES AND NIGHTMARES:

I woke up startled. Not like one of those minor startles but...

Agreeing with DATo, I think you managed to capture that land we all escape to when we just can't or don't want to deal with something. It's like a coping mechanism I would expect. I suggest that you...

The tension in this piece is nearly palpable. It's well-written and captivating, though if you've read to the end it's also sad. Ah, but sometimes the best stories are the sad ones.

Thanks DATo! I'm glad you liked it. Though I know the main premise for the story, I haven't written much other than the prologue and some outlining so far. I think it will be in third person past...

Though I agree that the "you's" can be awkward, I think they were used here purposefully. To me, it sounds like an elder of Otium is narrating his opinion of how the younger narrator (last line,...

Hi, this is the prologue to the, as of yet, untitled thriller/mystery novel that I'm currently working on. Thanks for reading.

PROLOGUE

“Daddy, do you think you're going to die?” my four year...

Licorice

Horror flick or chick flick?

Haha, I like how he tried to use the police to scare you. Like an officer would actually call and ask for your credit card information which they supposedly had if they knew you supposedly spent so...

Hi 108, thanks for your reply. I see what you mean about the first and fourth paragraphs. I should do some trimming and rearranging. On your second point, I can see that I didn't explain well. It...

Abnormalalien was a name I came up with back in the days where AOL was dial-up and Yahoo chat rooms were the popular thing to do online.I guess I was old enough to feel like a misfit (thus abnormal)...

I agree with everyone else here. It mostly depends on your dedication and usage. I certainly remember more from my high school Spanish classes than I do from my college Arabic classes. However, I...

Ha, maybe I should do this with some of the ones that call me. Except mine are usually scammers rather than legitimate telemarketers. I haven't heard from my favorite guy in a few months now; maybe...

Thank you DATo, I'm glad my mother was not the only one who enjoyed it! ;-) I have not read either of the pieces you have mentioned, though I'm sure I ought to at some point. Though almost entirely...