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    With Sincere Apologies to Ronnie Milsap

    You’re Such a Pain (After Smokey Mountain Rain)
    With Heartfelt Apologies to Ronnie Milsap

    I stumbled my way from the barroom to the night club
    Found out the girls on stage were men in drag—...
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    It's me! I drop in ever now and then.

    It's me! I drop in ever now and then.
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    Seth after the KISS band hit Beth

    Seth (With Apologies to the band KISS)
    /
    Seth, I see you crawling
    Donít think youíll make it home right now
    I never saw a man so pie-eyed
    Far too drunk to get around...

    In a few more hours...
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    Sun: Star closest to Earth around which we are...

    Sun: Star closest to Earth around which we are reliably informed the Earth rotates. As there are millions of stars out there which no doubt have their own planets, extraterrisial life is virtually...
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    Sun: Star closest to Earth around which we are...

    Sun: Star closest to Earth around which we are reliably informed the Earth rotates. As there are millions of stars out there which no doubt have their own planets, extraterrisial life is virtually...
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    Child: The mini-me that parents sincerely hope...

    Child: The mini-me that parents sincerely hope doesn't turn out like them!

    Sincere:
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    Consider: Examine for perhaps 10 seconds before...

    Consider: Examine for perhaps 10 seconds before deciding to go with a previously determined opinion.

    Open Mind:
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    Flea: Small, blood-sucking insect, or the average...

    Flea: Small, blood-sucking insect, or the average Politician


    Scarecrow:
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    Dressing: To cover one's rear end Posterior:

    Dressing: To cover one's rear end

    Posterior:
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    Antique: Belonging to a bygone age and therefore...

    Antique: Belonging to a bygone age and therefore sought after. People will buy antique items that have become so obsolete that people have to ask "What the devil is that?!"

    Devil:
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    Origami: A simple paper-folding technique that...

    Origami: A simple paper-folding technique that can be used as an exercise in futility, the Japanese make it look easy but it isn't

    Feng Shui:
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    Commerce: The art of buying a horse for $25 and...

    Commerce: The art of buying a horse for $25 and selling it for $2,500

    Profit Margin:
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    Brooch: That repulsive piece of jewelry that you...

    Brooch: That repulsive piece of jewelry that you inherited from your mother. It has been passed down through generations of your family but you have yet to see anyone actually wear it. And you have...
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    Factory: Legalized compulsive labor, only the...

    Factory: Legalized compulsive labor, only the pay, meager as it may be, separates it from slavery. They pay you just enough to keep you from quitting, while managing to make you feel less important...
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    Determination: Constantly trying to put square...

    Determination: Constantly trying to put square pegs into round holes

    Grit:
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    6th sense: Intuition or common sense painted up...

    6th sense: Intuition or common sense painted up and made mysterious

    Third Eye:
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    illegal: 1) A sick predatory bird 2) A forbidden...

    illegal: 1) A sick predatory bird 2) A forbidden action, such as gambling that is not wrong if the government does it, such as gambling on the lottery 3)Person of interest from another country who...
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    Cord: A measurement by which firewood is sold 2)...

    Cord: A measurement by which firewood is sold 2) A ligature used for strangulation 3) Any of the vast amount of tangled cables you need to charge a phone, tablet, Kindle, Camera, Camcorder, cordless...
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    Cord: A measurement by which firewood is sold 2)...

    Cord: A measurement by which firewood is sold 2) A ligature used for strangulation 3) Any of the vast amount of tangled cables you need to charge a phone, tablet, Kindle, Camera, Camcorder, cordless...
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    Sneaky: The result of an idea that you wish you...

    Sneaky: The result of an idea that you wish you had thought of first

    Premature:
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    SPAM: Acronym, Stuff Posing As Meat, credit Bill...

    SPAM: Acronym, Stuff Posing As Meat, credit Bill Engvall

    Spam eMail:
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    Bogey: Humphrey Bogart Gimme:

    Bogey: Humphrey Bogart

    Gimme:
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    Rabid: When a miser actually is willing to pay...

    Rabid: When a miser actually is willing to pay for something

    Parson:
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    Cobra: 1) A limited edition car that was super...

    Cobra: 1) A limited edition car that was super hot! 2) Highly poisonous snake 3) The spare bra a lady keeps in her drawer, purse, etc.

    Levity:
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    Phylum: To sort your files by common...

    Phylum: To sort your files by common characteristics, such as overdue bills, tax receipts, IOU's, etc.


    Bunkum:
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