Search:

I like yours

I like the idea, that "the different" becomes a couple, however you pose such a very broad question that seems to be to oppressing to the poem. I did notice the ED characteristics, but I don't think...

I found that in the 8th stanza, it doesn't seem to fit within the context of the poem itself. I find that in this writing you seem really disconnected with the speaker of the poem, whether this is...

I
I AM SO LONELY!

Anyday that goes by--
Bewilderment ensues,
Following the shocking,
of pandora's box-----my only truth .
some people,

take apart--> rub on thistles,

anyone have any suggestions or comments on my poems?

The form of these are different then what I have written if you would like to see the the actual way they are written then email me at [email protected].

thanks

68
Sitting in 68,
A Soul banging on the keyboard,
In a hidden room
Behind a wall.

Screeches heard from the dark hall,
Footsteps effortlessly tapering off into silence;
He’s still not here....

Umm this is a haiku thread, why aren't you doing it? It says haiku when you click there right. Why did you do that?

Anymore thoughts....

As I accost them
I hear the mangled music
Through waves' orchestra

Of turbulent seas
Where life seemingly ends up
The harbor light shines

Miranda, to tell you the truth it isn't a real story. I just had the inspiration. It just came to me. I am not basing it on anything, I was bored and it just started out like that. It was originally...

I look down upon the cold hard ground,
The blood trickles down my chest.
It's color crimson red,
The heart still beats,
But I am dead; Giving...

I took it out, My idea that I was going for in the third stanza was to make it sound like he was going to kill another man, but in actually he is talking to himself about it. That is what I was...

Anyone else what to critique my poem. I love the criticism...no really I do! :-)

The last line of the poem, "Taken me over, shot the gun." I do not understand where this is played out throughout the entire poem. What does that mean, exactly? I am quite confused by this. PLease...

I can feel the trigger,
Slipping through my finger,
Telling me to pull,
As tight as I can.
But Will I kill an innocent man,
Just because I can,
Or will I stand,
Against this urge...

My name is this....Hope Justice Lost

Hope is how the world survives, Justice is what we all expect to get, and Lost is what we would be without both of those...

the word hole is suppose to be there it's irony...

The rays of the sun,
Fall into the man,
But it does not effect the way they act...

I feel the world sinking deeper,
Inside a hole, that no one knows;
I see people walk down the street,...

Hey tell me what you guys think about it?!?

At the stroke of 12,
I can hear the bells.
Bellowing inside my head,
Only 10 more tones to go.

(9)
I feel the light on my face,
The ticking of the hands.
My hands caressing my cool face.
I...