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Type: Posts; User: Bobbycrane; Keyword(s):

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    Chapter 2 One fine summers day Little No-Leg...

    Chapter 2

    One fine summers day Little No-Leg Johnny's uncle, Theodore Columbus Putsch, came to town.

    Putsch was a fat bald man, with a large nose like a beetroot. His ears were like...
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    Little No-Leg Johnny

    Chapter 1

    Deep in the bowels of the orphanage, in the pitch black depths of the cellar, was an iron cage hanging from a chain attached to the ceiling. Sitting inside the cage was a young boy,...
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    The languid dog Sits on the mat Smelling of...

    The languid dog
    Sits on the mat
    Smelling of farts
    And wee
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    Purple jizz In a purple bowl It dripped from...

    Purple jizz
    In a purple bowl
    It dripped from
    My big love pole
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    Steven this is a good effort but there is still...

    Steven this is a good effort but there is still room for improvement. Your use of flowery language is excessive and prevents the story progressing at an enjoyable pace. You might like to read some of...
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    Disappointing, that was a missed opportunity. If...

    Disappointing, that was a missed opportunity. If I'm honest your story lacks structure and it's hard to empathize with the characters. If you had expanded on how these rituals affected them...
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    I didn't like it, I thought it was boring.

    I didn't like it, I thought it was boring.
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    I liked the bit about 'sex magick' - I think you...

    I liked the bit about 'sex magick' - I think you could have elaborated a bit more on that, the detail is very sparse.
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    The Return of Dr. Poseidon

    God is dead. That's what I read in Time magazine.

    The human race has learnt to live without God, without fear of being turned into a pillar of salt or plagued by locusts. God always had a short...
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    I don't think I have ever read a story in this...

    I don't think I have ever read a story in this style - referring to the reader i.e.

    It reminds me of the "Chose your own adventure" books where the reader is given options and chooses which page...
  11. Thread: Ransom

    by Bobbycrane
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    969

    I like stories which don't give you all the...

    I like stories which don't give you all the details, sometimes the plot is just a medium for expressing emotion.

    I like this story but it is very disjointed, perhaps a little more background is...
  12. Thread: Untitled

    by Bobbycrane
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    I like this very much - short but sweet. What...

    I like this very much - short but sweet.

    What makes the protagonist question his dream being good or bad? I like the ambiguity.
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    I tend to write in a kind of binge, which usually...

    I tend to write in a kind of binge, which usually ends abruptly.

    Does anyone else have trouble structuring their writing?
  14. The most difficult character to write about is...

    The most difficult character to write about is Hitler. Even alternate-reality good Hitler is tricky.
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    That's quite a sad, moving piece of writing. Does...

    That's quite a sad, moving piece of writing. Does it reflect how you feel in real life? I'm glad there is hope for finding happiness at the end.

    I think it's good to write sad things sometimes, it...
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    Sticky: Hello everyone! I am here to learn about...

    Hello everyone!

    I am here to learn about creative writing, specifically fiction. I have lots of ideas but trouble sticking to plots and structuring my work. I hope to learn better techniques and...
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