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Thanks for the feedback - it is appreciated. Constructive criticism like this is the only way we can hope to improve our skills so I'm glad you posted, and that you took the time to so throughly read...

Cabbed

Death was in the man's eyes as he stood stock-still on the street, caught like a fat white rabbit in the taxicab's headlights. Dan knew it too, and he screamed as the driver jammed on the...

Interesting piece - let me start by saying that I do like the name Milosh Drown. I think that's a great name for an RPG character and I appreciate that you've taken the time to create a history for...

I enjoyed the characters, so decided to keep the story going. Hope you enjoy it.


Deacon First – II

“See where I hit ‘em?” Pike Rolson grabbed the ‘wolf by the ears and lifted its face off of...

Hi Auntie,

Just read through this one and wanted to give you my thoughts, for what they're worth.

I liked Danny - er, Donny - and I felt for him, felt the hopelessness mixed with the...

Always a pleasure reading your work, Doc. Your characters always have a fundamental believability about them that I envy; they always ring true.

Interesting subject matter to be sure, and from what women I know tell me, not that far off the truth. The protagonist manages to both horrify and edify the poor woman he accosts, and that's a hard...

I'll admit, the story itself lost me as well, but I did find your characterization to be excellent. You have a way of describing your characters that is unique among many pieces I have read.

Nuns. Seriously creeping me out since 1979.

Thanks for the feedback - the repetition was intentional, but I agree it was a bit disjointed at the end. The idea was that he was repeating the same moment over and over - the only memory he now...

The Reminder

It was the white of the doctor's coat that first caught his eye, new as he was to the world of the sight. It was a bright white, the white of man who took a great deal of pride in his...

Thanks for the comments, everyone - they are very much appreciated.

I agree that the second section did not exactly pan out as I had intended, and must admit I like your idea better than the one I...

Taxman

“So...why exactly am I here again?” Jim's voice sounded muffled to his own ears in the padded office. It had its own door and even a window, so he couldn't really see the need for such...

Big fan of your work, Steven and I'm looking forward to your next installment. You have a remarkable ability to create a sense of "place" that I envy.

Deacon First

Bishop-Captain Lars Venman had more problems than he could count. Fortunately, he’d never been particularly found of counting so it didn’t matter; even if they’d been of a reasonable...

I'm glad to see this thread has generated discussion and I do feel that the main point here (at least as I understand it) of not relying too heavily on directly desciptive narrative is a good one.
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I'd argue that safety and complacency often go hand in hand. Certainly a government that would kill its own citizens is horrific, but if it can convince those same citizens that their obedience is...

Liked the cougar concept - was expecting a Werewolf, so this was a nice change of pace. The hunter with the empty gun was interesting as well, but I do have a few things to suggest.

First, lines...

Inbound Marketing

“Good morning, John,” the sweet voice said, all dulcet tones and honey, sliding him out of the best dream he'd been having in months, “could I interest you in some new sheets?...

I enjoyed this story - good pacing and I enjoyed the overall arc of it. As well, I found the writing to be top-notch, very easy to read and with a style that drew me in immediately. Well done!

Bail Out

Bailiff Brint Henderson looked bored as always. Few in the New York district office knew him well, and those that did said that he rarely had much to say, even when events warranted it....

Very vivid imagery and creepy as hell, especially at the end. Stuck in my mind long after I read it. Well done!

Really enjoyed the imagery - you have a very lyrical, almost hypnotic style that I enjoy, and the concept of a word rustling wrangler is great.

The term "sterile, polite prison" is about the best I've ever heard to describe a hospital. Very interesting read.

The tone at the beginning was masterful, I thought - the sort of everyday horror of a woman being abused and the young girl that has to deal with it, especially when both the mother and abuser deny...