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    You got it wrong, Mr :P. It wasn't the father >.

    You got it wrong, Mr :P. It wasn't the father >.< why would I turn this into a pervish story?

    If you re-read it. You'll realize it was her former captain; drake. not the father; Max. Much less...
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    Updated again. Hope you enjoy the parts i just...

    Updated again. Hope you enjoy the parts i just added :P

    Feel free to point out the mistakes too xD
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    1- Maybe if I pmed a moderator, he'll be able to...

    1- Maybe if I pmed a moderator, he'll be able to replace it for me?
    2,3- Fixed, fixed and fixed!

    Hillwalker, you're my idol already :P
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    ^ Thanks for the supportive comments! Really...

    ^ Thanks for the supportive comments! Really appreciated :)
    And yeah, edited the title. But for some reason, it didn't change when looking at the thread from the "Short story sharing" sub-forum :S...
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    I'm having issues spotting the present/past...

    I'm having issues spotting the present/past switching. Can you point them all out please? Would make it much easier for me to correct.

    And no more screams, only used once now. thanks again :P
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    Yeah, i'll try my best to read more. Thanks :). ...

    Yeah, i'll try my best to read more. Thanks :).

    Updated again. Edited out some mistakes and continued the story. Feedback needed :P
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    Updated, again. Edited out and fixed a lot of...

    Updated, again. Edited out and fixed a lot of parts, and added a couple of new paragraphs.
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    ^ Wow, thanks mate. My grammar is messed up I can...

    ^ Wow, thanks mate. My grammar is messed up I can see :P. I'll try my best to edit and fix it.

    Since English isn't my first language, and because i only read 3 childish novels in my life, adding...
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    bumping this up to note that 2 paragraphs were...

    bumping this up to note that 2 paragraphs were just added to the first chapter.
    Waiting for your feedback.
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    Thanks for reading it! And i really appreciate...

    Thanks for reading it! And i really appreciate the feedback. About the grammar, i just fixed it. now, it starts as present, and then at some point switches to past and continues with it. Present...
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    Oppressed by the Savage World - A Story of Thieves

    Oppressed by the Savage World




    ~1~

    Looking around, all I can see is lights... Police have arrived. I reach to my pocket, and hold tight onto the smoke bomb, waiting for my Captain's...
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