Search:

xxx xxx xxx

The best here is the title.

Next best-- the poem.

HH

Thanks for the reply.

I've been away.

Reading this again, I see typos, errors and
gaffs-- but a general malaise keeps me from
editing.

HH

Action at a distance.

The question of whether a man who loves a woman in
another county, state (country) can act 'at a distance'
was still up in the air last month-- maybe not now,

tho, ...

Just returned from Vegas

to find

responses to my 'pee'

All responses compensated for a bad beat
in a Hold'em tournament at the Bellagio.

Thanks,

Dear Virgil,

I don't know why I care.

I'm 76 years old-- had my day.

But I want to know why you find my reply
gibberish-- my mild inebriation notwith-
standing.

Bill Soughton was a stout man of sixty years, whose expanding width seemed to be compensating for his diminishing stature.
**
Bill Soughton was a stout man of sixty years-- a man
whose body got...

I cannot disagree with your reference.

I botched my reply.

I was 30% drunk.

HH

Thanks for the lesson dear Aunty...

I cannot disagree with your references.

I botches my reply.

Sorry.

I was drunk.

Thank you...

you make me smile.

HH

This rewrite


good

HH

Please re-read what I wrote.

Nothing is wrong with 'that.'

The clause sets an agreement--

in this poem's case... only the 'elevated'
will be discussed.

The other will be ignored.

i'm too tired
sick and tired of love
i've had my fill of love
from below and above
tired
tired of being admired
tired of love uninspired
let's face it
i'm tired...

Miss Prudence Piedmont, CEO,
taken by new girl Sally Gwen,
ogles-- Oh! that cadmium cape,
saffron hat and plastic shoes.

Piedmont is curious, yes.
-- Dear, you smoke cigars?
Piedmont’s daddy...

This may be the sappiest poem I've read
in the last month.

It's very cute and puppy-doggie.

I speak without knowing your age.

If you are more than 12 years old,
this poem must be tossed...

"That covers the hurts and pains"

Kick this line out.

The reader says, "Oh, this poet is so skillful
I know his hurts and pains without his telling me."

HH

Sappy--

but I like it.

This poem brings a conditional clause--

"If things were imagined at the linmits
of blessedness, then ..."

this poem.

Hello,

For 17 years I tried to get my students
to use the dash.

For 16 years I tried to get my students
to blurt-out.

eliminate the copula verb.
eliminate the article.

Hello,

I have no formal reason to like this poem.

but I do.

and that's the thing that bothers me.

the language sparkles like a sparkler
sparkles.

Stop rhyming---

that is, until you study how to hide the rhyme.

Your rhyme snacks me in the face like a bar-rag.

Joe the bartender slopped his bar-rag across,
down the length of the counter...

As

Never, never start a story with 'as.'
**
... incision in the deceased man's chest cavity,
**
incisions are not made in chest cavities,
**
a sudden feeling
**

Impossible1

A story with nothing that can be sensed.

No objects.
No details.

Incredible.

Abstractions only.

This story ...

I didn't mean to say a subordinate clause can be
found in this paragraph.

I failed to write clearly.

In fact this pragraph is more paratactic than hypo-
tactic.

I respond..

Posters knock themselves out posting poems and
stories and general writing, but don't respond--
much-- except to hand our indiscriminate praise,
when they do crit.

Does that...

That first sentence kills the story-- too long.

Hypotactic too.

Hypotaxis thwarts the narrative by dependence upon the
subordinate clause.

Shouldn't be that way.

HH