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    A new mag recruiting.

    Howdy all, I'm recruiting for a new magazine for all sorts of stuff like poetry, short stories and flash fiction. I provided a link to their submission page in case anyone is interested. There's too...
  2. There should be no exemptions from the rule. The...

    There should be no exemptions from the rule. The writer can easily trim their own work below 2000 words. One cannot take the competition seriously if the people organizing it aren't taking their own...
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    I actually really enjoyed this story. I am a cat...

    I actually really enjoyed this story. I am a cat person, so I understand why the character tends to stray cats. However, there are a few things that need attention: the MOTIVATION behind the cats is...
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    Grammar is a problem. I read this sentence: "For...

    Grammar is a problem. I read this sentence: "For some reason he still loved Sasha though." and it makes it sound as if you don't care. It's sloppy in a way. The writer should ALWAYS have a reason...
  5. Thread: Avid

    by michaelsbearre
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    Howdy. I like the way you tell this story, but...

    Howdy. I like the way you tell this story, but the grammar is a bit odd.

    The sentence: "Hair tinted lusty red; eyes colored rich brown; body buxom; nails delicately sharp; but for her very human...
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    Jack is kind of abrupt in his feedback yet vague....

    Jack is kind of abrupt in his feedback yet vague. So lets start in the beginning, you start off good but lose me at:

    "She had a look of calm about her, although her limbs were twisted ...
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    Apocalypse Please! A DOOMSDAY STORY!

    Here is a quick doomsday type story. It has a little bit of telling and here is the first write. For those who read the Asylum, I am about to re-write that piece and edit the original. So keep tuned!...
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    A screwed up lullaby

    Come with me,
    so you can see.
    The end is in sight
    when you walk with me.

    So won't you please?
    Come with me?
    So we can share...
    our misery...
  9. Thanks Delta. I kinda threw it together. They...

    Thanks Delta. I kinda threw it together. They were lines in my head and decided to just put them out. But, the puzzle is hidden beneath each line and comes together as a whole.
  10. A poem. Can you uncover the meaning.

    Here is something I wrote.


    Of this lusting hound
    oh how I wonder how.
    You find me every time,
    no matter where I hide.

    I cloak my scent
    with fumes of roses.
  11. Can you elaborate more? this topic intrigues me.

    Can you elaborate more? this topic intrigues me.
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    I understand what it is that you are saying. I...

    I understand what it is that you are saying. I was just pointing out something editors point out to me frequently. I am not bias to the work, I was just making helpful observations. Dialogue was the...
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    Hello Doc, a few things I noted while reading...

    Hello Doc, a few things I noted while reading your short story. All I can spot out is the use of dialogue. It's a bit dry and here a few examples.

    "You have to get them in the head, Giorgio,"...
  14. You're dabbing into a realm that grants entire...

    You're dabbing into a realm that grants entire freedom. As in, you could create your own culture inspired by Asian backgrounds or lore. This approach would give more freedom and flexibility. However,...
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    I think you misunderstood what I said. I do...

    I think you misunderstood what I said. I do greatly consider advice, hence why I posted that metaphor thread. To see what people feel towards it. I just don't want someone to come along and think I...
  16. I think gay marriage and abortion would be the...

    I think gay marriage and abortion would be the most difficult because it's such a bias topic. Regardless of good the writing is, if you're for either, you're gonna offend the other half and vice...
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    thanks

    Thank you, I wrote this and published it with little-proof reading and I did it on purpose. I guess to try and get opinions at a more raw level if that makes sense. I am considering re-writing this...
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    Your sentences are long and I failed to relate to...

    Your sentences are long and I failed to relate to "Forest Girl" I couldn't keep reading because it was a bit mono-toned due to the telling. The paragraphs you used telling, you could of been showing....
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    I know what you went through dude! And getting...

    I know what you went through dude! And getting feed back in the wrong places can be self-sabotage because as writers, we have somewhat of a stigma. So I've noticed. For instance, say you love a book...
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    hm

    See that's just it. I compare old stuff like Shakespeare plays, Poe, Alighieri and every other name you can think of and they use metaphors. A lot of contemporary authors I've noticed are more...
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    Metaphors or not?

    So, I've been writing for a while and wonder.... Is it confusing using metaphors in stories?

    Here is a quick line from one of my stories.

    "Every wall screams his voice every hour of the day, I...
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    Thank you kind sir! I usually write free verse...

    Thank you kind sir! I usually write free verse because it's not so constrained or restricted. I'm struggling with metering and such cause it's new to me. HOWEVER, I want to learn all styles and...
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    The Asylum (Horror)

    Here is a flash fiction exercise. 1,102 words and 2 pages in length. I wrote this as an exercise for the book I'm working on now, Dreamland. What I am trying to convey is this. To make the reader...
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    yes, I didn't even bother to try to try. Thanks...

    yes, I didn't even bother to try to try. Thanks for the feed back. I wish for your expertise in metering, form, structure ect in the future morphy. Up till now, I've only written free verse, so...
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    Eh, fun is fun. Gotta have fun once in awhile.

    Eh, fun is fun. Gotta have fun once in awhile.
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