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TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 41

Twas the night before Christmas
And all thru the Barn
In fact, not a creature was stirring
At all on the farm
They were bedded down warmly
In the fresh...

EXPLODING CHEESE

Breaking news: there’s been an explosion
At a cheese factory in Weston-Super-Mare
There have been no reports of casualties
Though there was De Brie everywhere

YOU HAVE A...

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TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 39

Twas the night before Christmas
And alone in the Croft
The owner banged his head and cussed
As he did all too oft

ELF IS AN ACRONYM

ELF is an acronym

DOUBLE, DOUBLE, TOIL AND TROUBLE

Double, double, toil and trouble
Fire burn and cauldron bubble
Shake it shake it at the double
Don’t drink much or you’re in trouble

THEY MAY LOOK CUTE AND...

IN THE BLACKNESS OF THE NIGHT

In the blackness of the night
Performing their satanic rite
Satan’s followers incite
To every Demons delight

DEMONS WALK THE EARTH

Demons walk the earth

THE COSTUMED ARMY

It’s here again
That day we all dread
When once more
We fear the rise of the dead

But fear not
Our salvation is at hand
We shall be saved

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 431

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
Followed by an average winter
Then he had an indifferent spring
Leading to the most glorious summer

A QUESTION OF BALANCE
...

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 429

What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice and all things nice
That's what little girls are made of?
Well try to remember that the next time
Your holding...

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21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 428

Three blind mice? Three blind mice?
Avoiding my baited traps, every single one
Visually impaired, see how they run,
Thumbing their noses when all said and...

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 427

Oh, the grand old Duke of York
He had ten thousand men
But after Brexit is settled, they will
Have to go home again

THE TRANSFER WINDOW IS OPEN

The...

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Thanks Pompey

Do not grieve
Or mourn my passing
Banish your sadness
Remember me and smile
Do not think of me as gone
Or out of reach
For I will be with you always
Though I cast no shadow
And you will hear...

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Gregs are a chain of British bakers

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21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 426

Simple Simon met a pie man,
Going to the fair,
The pie man worked at Greggs
And his name was Kerr

MY REMOTE CONTROL STOPPED WORKING

My remote control...

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 425

Peter Piper picked a peck
Of pickled peppers
Very interesting I’m sure, but what
Was he picking at beforehand?

ARE YOU WEARING A POINTY HAT?

Are you...

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21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 424

Oranges and Lemons
Say the bells of St. Clement's?
No they really don’t
You are delusional

ROSES ARE GREY

Roses are grey,

Well you certainly provide plenty of provocation.
But even though you appeared to have singled me out to bear the brunt of your venting spleen, i do the Christian thing and turn the other cheek...

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 423

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To fetch her poor dog a bone
But there was none
As she didn’t have a dog
And was living in a home

ROSES ARE RUSSET

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