Thanks. Glad you like it :)
Type: Posts; User: SleepyWitch; Keyword(s):
Thanks. Glad you like it :)
Thank you :)
Thanks!
Thanks! Hehe, I haven't been on litnet for ages because I spend way too much time on Facebook and doing other nonsense. But after a weekend on literature forums and no Facebook, I feel so much more...
I like the confessional tone and vivid descriptions. It's also interesting how you start to gradually reveal what happened. It makes me want to know more about what your/ the character's epiphany...
Feeling a bit cheeky asking for feedback because I hardly ever post any more, but I'm feeling rather pleased with this recent poem. Maybe we could do it like this:
If you give me feedback, direct me...
Thanks :)
Thanks again :)
Thanks! Eh, was that a pun?
Thanks :) Haha, I'm glad you said that. A person on another forum got it completely wrong. For some reason they thought the poem was about drug trafficking in Hitler's time or something crazy like...
Thanks, good point about the semicolon; I've changed that. But I'm not going to delete the other lines. They are fragments of memories, not just random phrases. I do understand that they wouldn't...
YesNo, I've made some changes.
Chasing traces of your essence,
I’m lost on google.
You are lost,
tailor-made rebel of the pre-Facebook age.
When the bourgeois life gave us bourgeois...
Thanks! I agree about some of those lines and have rewritten them. I can't post them right now, as I'm on my phone. Will post them in a bit from home.
Thanks. Yes, I need to come up with a better ending.
Thanks!
Sorry, I only saw your reply now.
ETA: There's a new and (hopefully) improved version further down.
"Sonnet 18" – The Digital Divide
Like a tardigrade in a tsunami
I’m lost on google.
You are lost,
tailor-made rebel of the...
A very Haiku-like description. I like the unpretentious style of this.
Yes, that's right. Thanks.
True. But the poem still isn't set in B'head :)
Thanks!
Thanks for your reply!
The poem is meant to be a bit of a mystery, but I might have made it too mysterious. I'll think of a way to make it a bit clearer.
Do you think the boyfriend is with the girl...
My husband's very bad poem:
"I am sad
My life is bad."
This poem makes me curious about what it was the 'accomplices' did :)
My phone is messing up the line breaks. Will fix it later. Please give me feedback.
Greece without You
A russet convoy snakes up the parched mountain slope,
towards a grove of sacred...
Huh? Why?