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    Very good

    Very good
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    Thank you for the feedback. I will do those edits...

    Thank you for the feedback. I will do those edits probably at the end. Here is chapter two if anyone has any suggestions.

    Chapter 2

    "Okay, Jamie we will be back in just a couple of hours,"...
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    Here is an edited version of chapter one. I...

    Here is an edited version of chapter one. I haven't completed it yet, but here is what I have so far.

    Chapter 1
    7/14/1993

    Waves crashed against the rocks and sent salt particles into the...
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    Thank you for all the feedback it is all very...

    Thank you for all the feedback it is all very helpful! I will definitely revise it and take all the suggestions that have been given to me. I will repost it once I am done.

    The part about the...
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    Thank you for the feedback. It is supposed to be...

    Thank you for the feedback. It is supposed to be a distant memory which is why there is really no dialogue or character development. The main character remembers this because it had such an impact on...
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    First chapter Nanowrimo

    Here is an edited version of chapter one. I haven't completed it yet, but here is what I have so far.

    Chapter 1
    7/14/1993

    Waves crashed against the rocks and sent salt particles into the air....
  7. Thanks for feedback how do you turn off filter...

    Thanks for feedback how do you turn off filter for swears?
  8. First chapter of my book, feedback appreciated.

    Austin
    04/10/2004

    I paced back and forth on the outskirt of the pit, looking for the perfect target. Sweat dripped down my face and people ran into me. I didn’t care about the people running...
  9. Okay, I understand, and I made the changes. I...

    Okay, I understand, and I made the changes. I could probably figure out a better way to start it that isn't so lengthy. I really like the first line, so I left it in there. I took out all of the...
  10. Also, I felt there was no need to explain that...

    Also, I felt there was no need to explain that Martin talked to a psychiatrist/social worker at the end. Maybe I should mention that, but I feel it's unnecessary.
  11. Thank you very much for all the feedback. I am...

    Thank you very much for all the feedback. I am really happy people actually read my story. Hawkman, I will try to figure out how I can break it up, but I'm not really good with computers so I just...
  12. Thank you for reading my story and responding to...

    Thank you for reading my story and responding to it! I really appreciate it and will work on some revisions.
  13. Posted in wrong forum, will someone tell me if my short story is good?

    A war exists within every artist, and every artist has to accept a war against the world. This is Martin's war.

    Because of work and family, Martin could only spend an hour a day on his writing. It...
  14. Will someone tell me if this short story is good?

    A war exists within every artist, and every artist has to accept a war against the world. This is Martin's war.
    Martin was born in a small hospital outside of Hartford, Connecticut. He had a fairly...
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