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I think that no one is commenting yet because they're waiting for you to finish the story. Is it already finished?

As it is, so far I'm liking it. A few things I want to point out, or ask.

1)...

I liked the story, because it doesn't bother with extraneous description, instead concentrating on either the dialogue or any relevant memories. Very Hemmingway.

A few criticisms from a writing...

This is an awesome story. It might just be my lack-luster powers of perception, but I was completely thrown by the ending. I'm amazed that you managed to work all those references to the game of...

I'm not sure why, but for some reason all I'm seeing of your story is several x's, like it's been censored. Did you use a weird font on it or what?

Your description of the zombie wasn't very thorough; when I first read that piece, I thought it was someone pressing one side of their face to the window. After that it was all confusion, for me at...

Thank you for the kind words, Jermac. I'm glad the dialogue is sounding real, as that was one of my chief concerns. I've tried to express through their manner of speech the character's essential...

I've updated the story, hopefully in one more installation it'll be done.

Hi, first time on these forums. My "Short" Story is fairly long, I hope that won't be a problem. This is a first draft, I have not started cutting the fat from it yet. I was hoping to get input on...