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Thanks :)
Got to love Opium :)

Wings

Soaring through the road in the backseat of the car,
two to a seat but you are on my lap-
cold whirrs through the window
but the music keeps us warm-
it's wings are wrapped around us...

I know you feel the same.

Trying to forget you,
forget me.
Trying to erase you, I stumble-
I fall down

Erase you with these drums and lights
these pills and fights
destroy my soul, the...

Great theme, language and ideas. There is nothign technically wrong with the poem either. However something isn't quite right. I think for me it might be that poetry is about density. This poem...

It is a collection of poems that forms a short story, so I think it belongs here.

Escape preservation by preserving your escape

I

through this clear window,
see all the things he intended...

Do I feel?

Washing over me like a wave of
aching,
a tide of fatigue that never goes out,
and endless candle.

Blown out only by the winds
of my desire,
stirred only by your ethereal...

Liquid silver crashes to the ground,
a puddle of beauty, a puddle nevertheless
scarred with the blade of mal-regard
the silver loses all.

Dropping it, I cry out
to the heavens, to the hells...

Any criticism lol? this is all I ever seem to get on any forum, kinda starts to go to a 15 year old boy's head xD

No problem? :S :P

Make of it what you will.

First I must say,
"I love you."

But

when we are torn apart by the guards of your dear heart,
I hate it
I hate them

Conjuring the power to look within my soul,
You,
Me,
We,
Wince at the sight of a mangled form that breathes
Slowly, heavily, painfully, tragically.

The breaths become longer,
The day becomes...

Yeah was just a little thing I thought of in a boring maths class- might make it into song lyrics. (2nd stanza being chorus of some sort)

Does it ever feel likes it just you?
Like no one else is there?
Like you’re alone on an island, but the island is everywhere.
The gates of hell provide comfort in the shape of pain you can feel,...

Lately, I’ve been thinking the sun- it works too hard,
and I’d be better off to wonder, about everything.
But maybe, it was only the sun behind the clouds
that made everything seem so nasty, oh...

Erm, ok?

Any criticism? :D

I will not let you go

Entangled in the roots of sorrow,
I can’t let you go, free
me from this house of terror,
or I can’t let you go,
hunting for the tastes of...

Lol thats not the only reason ;)
Well Silven, that insight shows me you to understand what I am talking about ;) I don't want to explain to you exactly what the "middle verse" means but I hope this...

I found this in my notepad after Sunday night, another poem written when I was under the influence of a few things; except this one is really ****ed up.(see last stanza) Although it does provide an...

Thanks guys, I'm surprised you liked it to be honest, I wrote it very quickly on Sunday because I needed to capture the thoughts and feelings of Saturday night, it would suggest that my best poems...

Broken

Eyes dilated,
Seduced
By flashing lights.

I had a dream
last night,
while the cold
whirred past my window

I would disagree :)
Very interesting windblown:)
I am very glad to hear that it made you think about this, as it does account for a large chunk of this poem's thematic/idealogical meaning :)
...

The Is alsi intend to stand alone to show isolation. The final I is to show that although the poem ends, my isolation continues and also shows how ths subjects life is somewhat incomplete.

Cheers...

Wow thank you all very much.
By the looks of it none of you have any objection to the words I used and the way I presented them, in that case, may I ask if any of you felt the message I was trying...

Anything you didnt like or think I could improve?

Escape preservation by preserving your escape.

I

Through this clear window,
See all
The things
He intended me to
See.