[mark please] Macbeth Essay

Hi, I received a mark on the Macbeth essay (out of 20) that I was very unpleasant about. Please grade my essay (out of 20), I want to see how close the teacher is with you people. Thank you.

The ups, then downs of a marriage

Marriage is a complex thing. It can have its ups and downs, joys and fights. For those couples who are lucky, marriage is what it`s intended to be, the joining of two individuals who love each other for life. In Macbeth, a play written by William Shakespeare, Macbeth and Lady Macbeth have a strong and united marriage, in the beginning that is. They loved each other and had that special bond. Unfortunately, this marriage was soon to go downhill, due to the independence and guilt that grew between Macbeth and Lady Macbeth, leaving a thick wall amongst them.
Throughout Acts I and II the Macbeths were well connected and united together. They sincerely loved each other and kept no secrets. When Macbeth is writing the letter to his wife, he tells her of his thoughts and the witches’ prophecies, referring to her as “my dearest partner of greatness” (I,v, 10). Right from the beginning Macbeth is shown as a romantic man who is close with Lady Macbeth, and has true love for her.
With the killing of King Duncan, Macbeth becomes more ruthless and independent. In Act III, Macbeth becomes paranoid and decides to get rid of his long time buddy, Banquo. Macbeth and Lady Macbeth don’t have many personal conversations with each other as there were in Acts I and II. Instead of plotting with Lady Macbeth, Macbeth goes to the murderers to discuss “where to plant [themselves],/Acquaint [them] with the perfect spy o’ the time”( III,i,129-130). In Act I, Macbeth was the scared and vulnerable person seeking orders and advice from Lady Macbeth. However, Macbeth is now the ruthless and strong person giving orders to the murderers and persuading them into committing the crime. Macbeth is now in charge, and decides to plan everything himself. Instead of Lady Macbeth being involved in the planning, Macbeth tells her to “Be innocent of the knowledge, dearest chuck” (III,ii,45). It should be noted that in the beginning Macbeth used ‘greatness’ instead of ‘chuck’. The change of words can conclude that there definitely is a change in the relationship, perhaps becoming more casual and less connected. Macbeth has come more independent and Lady Macbeth has lost her grip on him.
Finally, the relationship starts to become much more tensed when Macbeth becomes insane with guilt. Macbeth comes to realize what a horrible deed he has committed, and starts seeing Banquo`s ghost. With Macbeth going crazy, Lady Macbeth starts to become nervous because she doesn`t want to get caught, but Macbeth`s gradual insanity was surely to grab the suspicious attention of their guests. This short-lived episode causes an argument between Lady Macbeth and Macbeth, showing that the love is not as strong as it was before:
You make me strange
Even to the disposition that I owe,
When now I think you can behold such sights,
And keep the natural ruby of your cheeks,
When mine are blanch’d with fear. (III,iv,112-116).

It has come to the point where Macbeth and Lady Macbeth are treating each other like strangers. In this case while Macbeth is feeling guilty with the murders he has committed, Lady Macbeth is feeling no remorse and manages to put on a smile. They are no longer intimate with each other; they no longer share the strong bond they previously had. This breaking down of their marriage is due to the feeling of guilt and disturbance they have brought on themselves.
For many, marriage can be cherished forever. However, in the play Macbeth, by William Shakespeare, Macbeth and Lady Macbeth’s marriage deteriorated in a short period of time. While it was strong in Acts I and II, their marriage suffered due to the independence and guilt that grew between them in Act III. In the end, they were like strangers on the opposite side of the world. Marriage is a tough thing to keep a handle on, sometimes the couple can get a good grip on it, while other times it can fall out of both the individuals` hands.

What grade are you in, and what does your teacher base the grade on (e.g. grammar, organization, textual support, etc?)

46.

Seriously though, although no one likes getting bad marks for essays you can really learn from them. The best advice I can give you is to heed your teacher's words (whatever they were) and to work with their suggestions. This is just natural development as a writer/learner and is part of the learning process, good luck.

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Originally Posted by Neely

46.

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46??

RishadNoori said out of 20pts.

Neely does have a good point, though, about learning from bad grades. As a student, I know that its really easy to get defensive about grades that are lower than you think they should be. However, criticism is as constructive a you make it, and you should try to really consider your teacher's comments and take them into account during future assignments.

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Originally Posted by K.K.

46??

RishadNoori said out of 20pts.

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It’s just my wicked sense of humour, it gets me through the day – small things I know.

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Originally Posted by RishadNoori

Hi, I received a mark on the Macbeth essay (out of 20) that I was very unpleasant about. Please grade my essay (out of 20), I want to see how close the teacher is with you people. Thank you.

The ups, then downs of a marriage

Marriage is a complex thing. It can have its ups and downs, joys and fights. For those couples who are lucky, marriage is what it`s intended to be, the joining of two individuals who love each other for life. In Macbeth, a play written by William Shakespeare, Macbeth and Lady Macbeth have a strong and united marriage, in the beginning that is. They loved each other and had that special bond. Unfortunately, this marriage was soon to go downhill, due to the independence and guilt that grew between Macbeth and Lady Macbeth, leaving a thick wall amongst them.
Throughout Acts I and II the Macbeths were well connected and united together. They sincerely loved each other and kept no secrets. When Macbeth is writing the letter to his wife, he tells her of his thoughts and the witches’ prophecies, referring to her as “my dearest partner of greatness” (I,v, 10). Right from the beginning Macbeth is shown as a romantic man who is close with Lady Macbeth, and has true love for her.
With the killing of King Duncan, Macbeth becomes more ruthless and independent. In Act III, Macbeth becomes paranoid and decides to get rid of his long time buddy, Banquo. Macbeth and Lady Macbeth don’t have many personal conversations with each other as there were in Acts I and II. Instead of plotting with Lady Macbeth, Macbeth goes to the murderers to discuss “where to plant [themselves],/Acquaint [them] with the perfect spy o’ the time”( III,i,129-130). In Act I, Macbeth was the scared and vulnerable person seeking orders and advice from Lady Macbeth. However, Macbeth is now the ruthless and strong person giving orders to the murderers and persuading them into committing the crime. Macbeth is now in charge, and decides to plan everything himself. Instead of Lady Macbeth being involved in the planning, Macbeth tells her to “Be innocent of the knowledge, dearest chuck” (III,ii,45). It should be noted that in the beginning Macbeth used ‘greatness’ instead of ‘chuck’. The change of words can conclude that there definitely is a change in the relationship, perhaps becoming more casual and less connected. Macbeth has come more independent and Lady Macbeth has lost her grip on him.
Finally, the relationship starts to become much more tensed when Macbeth becomes insane with guilt. Macbeth comes to realize what a horrible deed he has committed, and starts seeing Banquo`s ghost. With Macbeth going crazy, Lady Macbeth starts to become nervous because she doesn`t want to get caught, but Macbeth`s gradual insanity was surely to grab the suspicious attention of their guests. This short-lived episode causes an argument between Lady Macbeth and Macbeth, showing that the love is not as strong as it was before:
You make me strange
Even to the disposition that I owe,
When now I think you can behold such sights,
And keep the natural ruby of your cheeks,
When mine are blanch’d with fear. (III,iv,112-116).

It has come to the point where Macbeth and Lady Macbeth are treating each other like strangers. In this case while Macbeth is feeling guilty with the murders he has committed, Lady Macbeth is feeling no remorse and manages to put on a smile. They are no longer intimate with each other; they no longer share the strong bond they previously had. This breaking down of their marriage is due to the feeling of guilt and disturbance they have brought on themselves.
For many, marriage can be cherished forever. However, in the play Macbeth, by William Shakespeare, Macbeth and Lady Macbeth’s marriage deteriorated in a short period of time. While it was strong in Acts I and II, their marriage suffered due to the independence and guilt that grew between them in Act III. In the end, they were like strangers on the opposite side of the world. Marriage is a tough thing to keep a handle on, sometimes the couple can get a good grip on it, while other times it can fall out of both the individuals` hands.

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I did not read the entirety of the essay, but I would, for starters, suggest avoiding the very casual tone with which you analyze the play.

I agree with PAM above, your tone is too casual. I mean - 'n Act III, Macbeth becomes paranoid and decides to get rid of his long time buddy, Banquo' - long time buddy? Made me smile but hardly anything I would put in an essay.

I can't give mark out of 20 because I have nothing to mark it against - some kind of criteria but here is some points which I hope will help.

1) You're exposition though flowery of sort is out of place in this essay, stop wasting words and if you must have an exposition like that bring it to relate the topic at hand.

2) 'Macbeth' (the play) should be either in speech sparks or italics so please correct that. Macbeth (the character) is fine as you wrote it.

3) Your vocabulary isn't advanced at all, I can't believe you didn't throw in the word '
eponymous' - always a good one.

4) You tell us twice that the play is by Shakespeare - in the first paragraph and then again at the last paragraph - unnecessary, first time is fine I guess, second time however is redundant.

5) What struck me the most was there is no in-depth analysis, just the superficial stuff. The Macbeths are very complicated characters individually. Some context - background information might help - attitudes towards women and marriage - Lady Macbeth appears far more in control in the first few acts of the play (not typical of the times), talk about misogyny - closely related to marriage, she urges him to commit the acts whereas Macbeth is slightly cautious, even cowardly. The power dynamic changes in the final acts, Lady Macbeth is a wreck, hysterical - hysteria is always something good to mention with regards to Lady Macbeth.

6) Finally - no structure. You need to have an argument here which you should state at the beginning. And a much stronger conclusion which draws in your main points - this should make you realise that you have very few, if at all. You're stating the obvious - we know their marriage changes!

Very brave of you to put it up and good luck.

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Originally Posted by RishadNoori

It has come to the point where Macbeth and Lady Macbeth are treating each other like strangers ... They are no longer intimate with each other; they no longer share the strong bond they previously had. This breaking down of their marriage is due to the feeling of guilt and disturbance they have brought on themselves.

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Does their marriage, their love for each other, break down? I think not. In all of Shakespeare, no married couple love each other more. The environment, in which they live as husband and wife, does change drastically.

It is paradoxical and fascinating that even late in the play, the Macbeths feel empathy for each other.

* Lady Macbeth. You lack the season of all natures, sleep.

* Macbeth. Come, we'll to sleep. My strange and self-abuse
Is the initiate fear that wants hard use:
We are yet but young in deed.

--------------------------------

* Doctor. Not so sick, my lord,
As she is troubled with thick coming fancies,
That keep her from her rest.

* Macbeth. Cure her of that.
Canst thou not minister to a mind diseased,
Pluck from the memory a rooted sorrow,
Raze out the written troubles of the brain
And with some sweet oblivious antidote
Cleanse the stuff'd bosom of that perilous stuff
Which weighs upon the heart?

-----------------------------

* Seyton. The queen, my lord, is dead.

* Macbeth. She should have died hereafter;
There would have been a time for such a word.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!

In the depths of murderous tyranny, the love, intimacy and respect of the Macbeths for each other in increasingly desperate circumstances bring the play alive. Here is a wondrous subtlety which you need to address in your essay. Contrast Macduff's abandonment of wife and children, and the patriotic and political expedience of Ross, Siward and Malcolm.

Otherwise, I enjoyed reading your essay. You write with a lively vigour. Your introductory paragraphs are fine. But your thesis, while conforming to our socially-conditioned expectations, is fundamentally wrong. As for marks, you would suffer for having provided little textual evidence or quotes on the state of the Macbeth marriage later in the play.

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3) Your vocabulary isn't advanced at all, I can't believe you didn't throw in the word '
eponymous' - always a good one.

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Well there's my new word of the day. It took me all of about 30 seconds before I just had to look that one up ;)

cheers,
nap

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Originally Posted by naphelge

Well there's my new word of the day. It took me all of about 30 seconds before I just had to look that one up ;)

cheers,
nap

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Me too :) Great word. Anyways, thanks everyone for the responses. To those who wondered, I'm in grade 11, and I forgot to mention the essay was only supposed to be related to Acts I-III.

Thanks for the great feedback everyone. The things some of you said was more useful than what my teacher told me :)

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Originally Posted by RishadNoori

Me too :) Great word. Anyways, thanks everyone for the responses. To those who wondered, I'm in grade 11, and I forgot to mention the essay was only supposed to be related to Acts I-III.

Thanks for the great feedback everyone. The things some of you said was more useful than what my teacher told me :)

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YOu're welcome.

It's not always the teacher's fault though -bear in mind they have another 20-30 essays like yours to read and mark.

I definitely do not want to hijack a thread, but it appears as though RishadNoori (OP) got what he/she was looking for, so I hope you don't mind me asking a related type question in the thread.

Is it alright to post essays being written for class, on this forum for advice? Or does that get tired fast and there is a better place to do so?

That could prove to be a wise thing to do before submitting. :)

cheers,
nap

Quote:

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Originally Posted by naphelge

I definitely do not want to hijack a thread, but it appears as though RishadNoori (OP) got what he/she was looking for, so I hope you don't mind me asking a related type question in the thread.

Is it alright to post essays being written for class, on this forum for advice? Or does that get tired fast and there is a better place to do so?

That could prove to be a wise thing to do before submitting. :)

cheers,
nap

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Of course you can - however if it's too long you might not get any feedback. Rather than posting the whole essay I recommend you post some of your ideas, especially ones you're unsure of how to develop and so on.

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Of course you can - however if it's too long you might not get any feedback. Rather than posting the whole essay I recommend you post some of your ideas, especially ones you're unsure of how to develop and so on.

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That is great! I am currently working on an essay that focuses on analyzing a paragraph from a short-story; analyzing the sentence structures and rhetorical devices the author uses to shape the paragraph.

I am rather weak when it comes to grammar terminology, so I am sure I am gonna get "ripped" on this essay because of that. It would sure be great to have some input before submitting.

cheers,
nap

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Originally Posted by optimisticnad

Of course you can - however if it's too long you might not get any feedback. Rather than posting the whole essay I recommend you post some of your ideas, especially ones you're unsure of how to develop and so on.

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Also, if you post part of an essay or some sort of outline, you can always let people know that there is more to it. That way you can email the complete essay to people if they are interested in reading it in its entirety.