Printable View
I can't stand this anymore;
This constant battle of hurt.
I'm taken for granted
And hated for my words.
People think that I'm soft,
But I risked my life
To fight for freedom of others
Black, brown and white.
I was sought out for dead
By the brotherhood's scouts,
Yet proudly I stood
On my feet with no doubt.
But now I am nothing
A has been, a won't be.
My once famous passion
Now drowns in hate's sea.
What would you think
If you knew my truth?
My history of passion
Love, hate and abuse.
inspiring - the theme of rascism is evident in my opinion. i like it a lot
Thank you very much :)
That is the problem with us; and we do not know the truth, for it is morphed, layered, crusted and we have to peal off crusts after crusts to arrive at the historical truth. You said so much in these few lines. Of course there are passions, hate, love, abuse but we must have a different prism through which we can see the truths of history.Quote:
Originally Posted by Revolte
Beautiful and edifying
I could not agree more, and thank you :)Quote:
Originally Posted by blazeofglory
Man, I love it..
It has a nice message, but I'm not sure where the art is here. Maybe I'm just missing something.
Well i define art as creation, so that would give it an artistic quality all together. Other then that I'm not really sure if it has any. The message itself is kind of the point of this one as its a vent.Quote:
Originally Posted by lallison
I weary,
Will I be succesful, some day?
Successful in convincing writers that
the best poetry is not for handing out
messages.
Poetry of the substantial kind has no
teaching or preaching function.
Prose!
Write prose if you have something to say
in a new way.
I dare to say, if a person has a 'message'
to impart to mankind, it has already been
made public-- let me see ...
I guess 124,765,666 times.
In prose. The definition of an essay is the
treating of old issues, old truths, old
themes. The charm of an essay is the manner
of treatment.
I will keep at this until tomorrow at noon,
or maybe Saturday morning around ten.
HH
Your opinion on what is best poetry is your opinion so expect to fail at getting all others to join your thought.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hayseed Huck
Even if this was prose, it's ok to post prose here. It's been done.
Please keep some what on subject Huck, I've read your view on prose and poetry on many peoples posts now. It's getting old. With that being said, I would like it if you would not comment on my posts telling everyone what poetry is and is not. I believe there is an entire section for such debate. Keep it off my posts, please. I'm looking for constructive criticism about my poetry. Or a word of kindness or opinions about the poem itself.
P.S. I will write what I want how I want, and all your doing is giving me reason to contenue doing so.
LOL
Ok, fine with me.
But I am giving you the kind of constructive
criticism you need.
You will never be more than a 'messenger' tell-
ing the same stuff over and over.
Sorry I did not 'gush' and say 'marvelous'
when we all know your poem is just one of many
unnecessary duplicates heaped with platitudes.
I thought you wanted to become a better poet.
I was wrong.
If the point of this forum is to indiscrim-
inately romance each other with praise, will
not the praise begin to water out?
I will avoid your work.
Thank you.
HH
Don't make assumptions. I didn't ask for your praise, try reading my response to your first post again.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hayseed Huck
Who in the hell are you to say that I don't want to become a better poet?
I didn't ask you to avoid my work, but I'm glad you made that choice.
It's just that if I have to read "Prose! write prose! prose, prose, prose! This is not poetry!" One more time on my posts I'm going to take a baseball bat to my lap top.
It's not my opinion.
It's Eliot's opinion
Auden's opinion
Ransom's opinion
Arnold's
Johnson's
DeQuincey's
Shelley's
Croce's
Keates's
Sainte Beuve's
Peacock's
George Moore's
Conrad's
Valery's
... and many others.
My opinion? ha.
Why do amaateur poets hold on to their
old habits as sacred? Why do they resist
instruction and criticism?
Stubborn
Refractory
HH
Oh, I'm the most stubborn person you will ever meet. But your making assumptions again. I have spoken to people one to one on this forum on improving my work. For every good poem I write, I will write five worse. It happens like that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hayseed Huck
Oh and, it's good to have an opinion of your own. You should try it.
And just to make it clear to you Huck, not everything I write is stuck in story telling and explaining my emotions. I posted this some long time ago here.
“Full Moon and Purple Sky”
A new full moon and purple sky
Overlooking sounds of life,
Music blasting from nearby home
A parade of gypsies rattle roads.
The constant threat of silent night
Shot dead in tracks of love and lite,
Desperate times and angered souls
Sleep well in peace in land they roamed.