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Will and Charlie’s annual camping trip has taken a very strange turn and now they must get out of the magical world they’ve wandered into and back to their busy lives before the sun sets or they’ll be trapped there forever.
Visit: jessicalmiller.wordpress.com/2013/08/19/the-incident-at-coopers-ridge-3/
You will probably not get much in the way of feedback since the link was formatted not to appear as a link, which 1) makes it more effort for anyone to go there, and 2) makes it look like you're deliberately trying to dodge forum link filters--guaranteed to turn people off from even trying. May I suggest simply posting the story here? You'll no doubt get more responses.
Also, welcome to LitNet!