A Little Bit Of Humour # 283
A NOTIONAL MOTION
Toast always lands butter side down
It’s a rule of locomotion
And a cat always lands on its feet
Now here is a curious notion
If you tie the toast to the cat
Would that result in perpetual motion?
SW19 CHEESE
When you are at Wimbledon
And you order a cheese baguette
The filling will most likely be,
Given the location, Tennis Raclette
MY WIFE ACCUSED ME
My wife accused me
Of being the immature sort
I wasn’t very happy
So I said “get out of my fort”
POSSESSED BUNDLE
My TV programmer is on the blink
The things possessed I'm in no doubt
It records the programs I don't like
And plays them back when I go out
THE REASON THAT THE OLD MAN
The reason that the old man
Fell in the well?
Was simply because
He couldn't see very well
I ATE MY MUM’S CLOCK
I ate my mum’s clock yesterday,
When she finds out shell be fuming,
However it was a day well spent
Eating clocks is very time consuming
I KNOW A LOT OF JOKES ABOUT THE UNEMPLOYED
I know a lot of jokes about the unemployed
The unfortunates and the ones who shirk
But no matter how many jokes I make
The simple truth is that none of them work
IF A COWBOY ASKS YOU IF YOU CAN HELP
If a cowboy asks you if you can help
Round up his nineteen cows
Just smile and say “Yes, of course”
That would be twenty cows”
A THESAURUS IS PRECIOUS
A thesaurus is precious
There’s no doubt about it
A thesaurus is great
There's no other word for it
SLEEP IS MY MOST FAVOURITE THING
Sleep is my most favourite thing
From lights out to days dawning
In fact it would be true to say
It's the why I get up in the morning
THE REASON WHY COWS HAVE HOOVES
The reason why cows have hooves
Instead of feet, everyone knows,
Because they are cloven footed
For the simple reason they lactose
CAR FOOTBALL IS ACTUALLY A THING
Car Football is actually a thing
And some people think it’s cute
But I don’t think cars should play
Because they only had one boot
