Christmas 2018 # 2

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 21

Twas the night before Christmas
And all down the Lane
Not a creature was stirring
Especially not Shane
As like every year he was
Passed out in a ditch again

ONE OF SANTA’S REINDEER

One of Santa’s Reindeer
Is truly quite obnoxious
And you’ll have guessed
Its RUDEolph of course

SURELY THERE SHOULD BE A LAW

Surely there should be a law
To punish those who play
Christmas music, two months
Before Thanksgiving Day

WHAT NATIONALITY IS SANTA CLAUS?

What nationality is Santa Claus?
Is the question asked most-est
Well he doesn’t really have one
But North Polish would be closest

WE MET AT THE CHRISTMAS PARTY

We met at the Christmas party
And I instantly fell in love with you
The prettiest girl in the room by far
Dressed in shades of Christmas hue
And when I heard your joyous laugh
The blissful love in my heart grew
And though we had never spoken
Nonetheless I somehow knew
That for every Christmas to come
In my future I'd still be loving you
So, I look back, with you in my arms
As my Christmas prediction came true

TOBLERONE

Toblerone, the perfect Christmas gift
For the friends you remember
At the very last possible moment
On the twenty fourth of December

NEUROTIC CHRISTMAS

One Christmas I was given
A neurotic clockwork Teddy
And it was ready to play with
As it was wound up already.

OUR TURKEY GOT INTO A FIGHT

Our Turkey got into a fight
When he went to the Gym
But he lost and other bird
Knocked the stuffing out of him

IF ASKED WHAT HE DID FOR A LIVING # 1

If asked what he did for a living
He would have replied “I’m a spy”
And when he hides in the bakery
At Christmas he’s a mince spy

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 22

Twas the night before Christmas
And all thru the village
There was a terrible smell
Following a diesel spillage