Please add your own title.

Bigwire. It pays to read something fully before you repost it then comment on it. If you have a go at reading what you reposted, the bit after it being a paradox began, ' I jest of course'

Hawk. Nobody is subjected to anything on here. You can choose not to read and not to comment as I have with some of your postings. As for the boy dropping his trousers metaphor, If I was trying to shock, I would not have written this. Also, if you find this depressing, I dont know how you get through the day.

Thank you Jack, Buh4Bee, Auntie and Manichaen. Auntie your actual real title for this is very funny :D

Its not the best thing I have ever written and the best thing I have ever written is probably only a quarter finalist (sorry, still in olympic mode), but I think it has a creativity in its listing but either way I will take my leave with the Sex Pistols..

FRIGGIN' IN THE RIGGIN
Oi Scurvies,listen to this then
It was on the good ship Venus
By Christ, you should've seen us
The figurehead was a whore in bed
And the mast, was a mammoth penis
The captain of this lugger
He was a dirty f**ker
He wasn't fit to shovel sh**
From one place to another
Chorus:
Friggin' in the rigging
Friggin' in the rigging
Friggin' in the rigging
There was f*** all else to do
The captain's name was Morgan
By Christ, he was a gorgon
Ten times a day sweet tunes he'd play on his f***ing organ
The first mate's name was Cooper
By Christ he was a trooper.
He jerked and jerked until he worked
Himself into a stupor
Chorus.......
Hold on give it some bollocks,bollocks,bollocks....
The second mate was Andy
By Christ, he had a dandy
Till they crushed his c**k on a jagged rock
For cumming in the brandy
The cabin boy was Kipper
He was a f***ing nipper
He stuffed his a** with a broken glass
And circumcised the skipper
Chorus........
The Captain's wife was Mabel
To f*** she was not able
So the dirty sh**s, they nailed her tits
Across the bar room table
The Captain had a daughter
Who fell in deep sea water
And invited squeals and milk and eels
Had found her sexual quarters
Friggin' in the rigging
Friggin' in the rigging
Friggin' in the rigging
There was f**k all else to do..

I think Do I Have to Swallow? (as accidental as it might have been :yikes:) qualifies

For the record, JB, the chorus is actually:

Frigging in the rigging,
Tossing on the crossing,
Wanking on the planking,
There was F uck all else to do.

H

I seem to remember the additional verse;

"The first mate's name was Tucker,

By God he was a fuc*er,

He wasn't fit to shovel sh*t,

From one ship to another."

Ah, happy schoolboy days immersed in the Greats of schoolboy poetry!
My favourite was;
"The boy stood on the burning deck,
His feet were full of blisters.
He had one finger up --------"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jerrybaldy

Bigwire. It pays to read something fully before you repost it then comment on it. If you have a go at reading what you reposted, the bit after it being a paradox began, ' I jest of course' ..

I did read it all, but with the sentences separated into two paragraphs I failed to guess what you were jesting at. My bad, sorry bout that. I shouldn't have posted on this, as I didn't have anything nice to say. Again, sorry if I stepped on your toes.