Only the beginning

Prince
(before I start, I want you to know that I love when you call me Frenchie :blush: :blush: )

I think your answer sounds very intelligent, as usual, Teacher! ;)
You are right, you are free to read it the way you want.
I had no idea that narratives required a change, though. We'll have to talk more about that. About other things, too.;)

AuntShecky, thanks for this comment. Dialogue would have been good, I guess, but I have noticed that I have trouble with that, I always tend to write the thoughts instead. I think adding a few more images would be nice too, I agree. Thank you very much. :)

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Originally Posted by Sweets America

Prince
(before I start, I want you to know that I love when you call me Frenchie :blush: :blush: )

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Ah, Frenchie ma juive, but do you know what I prefer to call you above all?

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I had no idea that narratives required a change, though. We'll have to talk more about that. About other things, too.;)

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Well, instead of change maybe I should have said "movement" but movement, after all, implies or involves change. Isaac Basshevis Singer, the great 20th century novelist and short-story writer once said that the essential story was "There were two men who lived in a town. One day one of them left..."

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Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

Ah, Frenchie ma juive, but do you know what I prefer to call you above all?

Well, instead of change maybe I should have said "movement" but movement, after all, implies or involves change. Isaac Basshevis Singer, the great 20th century novelist and short-story writer once said that the essential story was "There were two men who lived in a town. One day one of them left..."

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You prefer to call me often? :p
Thanks for this comment.

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Originally Posted by Sweets America

You prefer to call me often? :p
Thanks for this comment.

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YES! Often and - mine!

Beautiful, elegant, and strong are the adjectives that come to mind after reading this story.

Perhaps my favorite aspect is how you put your characters on ice. Is this to imply how hard it can be to control the direction of our life when living in strangling circumstances? That is what I garnered from it.

Great job.

Thanks APEist!
I don't know if I intended to do what you suggested about the ice. I think I liked its cold atmosphere though, and in the meantime, the freedom of movement that goes with it.

Sweets,

I think your little story is wonderful, full of emotion. I also would have liked more, but at the same time i think it was just enough and it had a perfect ending

Thank you very much, Mommy! (I remember I was so tempted to call you mommy at the very beginning, when I saw your screen name!!:D )
I am happy you enjoyed that story!:)