what attracts you first?

Good list, Calidore.

But why is it important to look stylish? I guess I'd like to look good and well-dressed, but I don't have the stylish gene, nor the money to hire a stylist. I also wouldn't mind looking cool, quirky, or , uhm, bohemian, which is how I think of myself. Alas, I just usually look kind of geeky. I'm a girl geek. Not happy about it, but there it is.

So, again, why? It all seems rather shallow to me, all this emphasis on style.

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Originally Posted by JuniperWoolf

Yes there is, I don't make threads very often and when I do I usually screw up on the polls, but I've seen it before so it can be done. Must be an option somewhere.

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Yep, Scher pointed me to it, thanks.

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Originally Posted by OrphanPip

Not part of the initial impression? There are places where that particular feature will be ascertained before, if ever, names are even exchanged.

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Well, yeah, but those are different places and people and (and impressions) than we've been talking about.


As far as the poll goes, I'll put it up tonight to allow 24 hours for input on the lists.

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Originally Posted by qimissung

So, again, why? It all seems rather shallow to me, all this emphasis on style.

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Well, style is a reflection of what you are inside, it's your choice. You don't consciously decide to have a strong jaw line or dimples, but you choose to wear faded jeans, or a cowboy hat, or some horn rimmed glasses, or a blazer with some casual layers underneath (I love that look, like this), all depending on the way you evaluate your own personality.

So, really, style is a less shallow thing to base immediate attraction on than their physical traits.

Bah. Strength of character lies in your thoughts and deeds, not your clothing – that’s fashion sense; or the cut of your jaw - that's the luck of the sperm lottery.

And James Dean was a spoiled brat who couldn’t drive*

When I was in High School, one of our teachers was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. For the most part, it was the poor kids and the misfits who visited her in the hospital, and then attended her funeral. The dandies couldn’t be bothered with either.

Whoa, enough of the preachy stuff, back on topic: What attracts me first? If a woman smiles at me, I am smitten.

*Hunter S. Thompson

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Originally Posted by Sancho

the cut of your jaw - that's the luck of the sperm lottery.

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That or careless shaving in the morning.

Jun and Sancho, interesting points, both of you.

Strength of character lies in your thoughts and deeds, not your clothing

"Strength of character" is not something that can be discerned at first. Whether you wish to admit it or not, we are all visual beings. There is a reason for the old adage, "A picture is worth..." well, you all know the rest. The seductiveness of the visual is the reason for thousands of years of iconoclasts... especially among the Jews, Muslims, and Christians... the "People of the Book" who put such value in the written word. We still are faced with such iconoclasts to this day... those who recognize the power of the image... the photograph... the 30 seconds of prime-time... the Hollywood blockbuster. I greatly suspect that those who deny any interest in something as "shallow" as the visual appearance of another human being... especially a potential love interest... are simply fearful of being honest.

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Originally Posted by stlukesguild

"Strength of character" is not something that can be discerned at first. Whether you wish to admit it or not, we are all visual beings. There is a reason for the old adage, "A picture is worth..." well, you all know the rest. The seductiveness of the visual is the reason for thousands of years of iconoclasts... especially among the Jews, Muslims, and Christians... the "People of the Book" who put such value in the written word. We still are faced with such iconoclasts to this day... those who recognize the power of the image... the photograph... the 30 seconds of prime-time... the Hollywood blockbuster. I greatly suspect that those who deny any interest in something as "shallow" as the visual appearance of another human being... especially a potential love interest... are simply fearful of being honest.

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Correct-a-mundo, mi amigo. Hence my qualifier:

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Originally Posted by Sancho

Whoa, enough of the preachy stuff, back on topic: What attracts me first? If a woman smiles at me, I am smitten.

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I'll sum it up quite succinctly.

Order of areas on women I find attractive: Face (eyes, smile, teeth, etc. all included), butt, breasts, stomach/navel, legs, hair, small of back. I don't really care what they're wearing, unless it's a Nickleback shirt. That's a deal breaker.

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Originally Posted by stlukesguild

are simply fearful of being honest.

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Some of us are just sluts who would sleep with anyone with a pulse.

Although, I think saying one's taste do not conform to the majority opinion of beauty is not the same as saying they don't care about looks, or that one thinks looks are secondary to other features for the choosing of sexual partners is saying that looks don't matter at all. E.g. I'm probably more likely to make a pass at someone who looks ordinary but doesn't act like a tool than someone with great looks but exudes an air of douche where ever they go, and it often doesn't take more than a few sentences to determine whether you really want to be around someone much longer.

[QUOTE=stlukesguild;1149520

http://localism.com/image_store/uplo...3348256134.jpg

I think I rode with him once

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Originally Posted by JuniperWoolf

No one's mentioned clothes yet. There are a lot of people around with attractive faces and hair, that's all about luck - but attractive clothes, and the way you move, that's conscious and reflective of your actual self. If I had to list one single thing that attracts my attention, it would be clothes.

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What first attracted me to my husband was his punk look, which means clothes and hair. He looked very cute. Now he (60 yrs old) wears his short sleeve t-shirts over his long sleeve t-shirts. He also loves t-shirts with pockets for pens and reading glasses.