A Humourous Selection # 18
CALL CENTER MODE ONCE MORE
One day Bimbette was having trouble
With her computer,
So she decided to try the call center
At a time that would suit her
"Hello how can I help you?"
Said the tech support guy
“What kind of computer do you have?
“A white one” was her reply
I REALLY NEED TO MODERATE # 2
I really need to moderate
The way I live my life
Last night I drank so much
I turned into my wife
I lost the ability to rationalise
I couldn’t think logically
And couldn’t grasp the offside law
Then I had to sit down to pee
DO AS I SAY
My wife said, “Take off all my clothes
And throw them on the floor”
I was taken aback to be honest
Then she said “and don’t wear them anymore”
BLONDICIDE
Bimbette was found in her cell
Hanging by the ankles from a beam
She claims it was a suicide attempt
This is normal for her it would seem
When she was told that to kill herself
The rope would need to be around her throat
She said that she had tried that first
But she stopped when she started to choke
FEMININE CONUNDRUM # 2
How is it that women can go through childbirth?
With all its inherent agony
Yet manage to scare themselves to death
At the sight of a dust bunny
REFRESHING SUPPORT
My wife left the house last week
For a pint of milk and never came back
Everyone keeps asking how I’m coping
But I used the powdered or had it black
CRASH PROCEDURE
As the 747 was falling
Uncontrollably from the sky
A female passenger ripped off her clothes
And began to cry
“Can someone make me feel like a real woman?
Before I die”?
A man stood up and took off his shirt
“Here iron this,” said the guy
I’M A FREE AGENT ONCE AGAIN
I’m a free agent once again
Since I broke up with my optician girlfriend
She was very nice but to be honest
It was our sex life in the end
That broke up our bliss
She kept saying “is it better like this or this”?
OUT OF MY LEAGUE # 1
Long slender legs
That caught the eye
Atop a stockined limb
A glimpse of thigh
A hint of lace
As she passes by
And a look that says
“Don’t even try”
BUFF
You’re really buff
You’re a bit of fluff
You’re a bit of stuff
Are you buff in the buff?
