Syllables

The syllables, like hives
that once were knit
by a swarm of vanished bees,
stand idle, waiting for breath,
precious breath, to fill them,
as it did once the latent earth
and raised it from its flat
and dormant state.

You've said a lot in these few lines. Like it very much Prince. The words have gone barren and they need something rejuvenating like a monsoon rain.

Actually Prince, I really like this, but there is a problem in line 7: to what does "it" refer, the earth or breath? I think it would be clearer if written:

"raising it from its flat
and dormant state"

Just a thought.

Live and be well - H

Relatively speaking, the birth of flowers over the earth was a virtual explosion due to bees.

You could say the same thing about the birth and diversification of language as well, which seems to be what you have done here in a few short lines.

A very apt and interesting comparison.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

The syllables, like hives
that once were knit
by a swarm of vanished bees,
stand idle, waiting for breath,
precious breath, to fill them,
as it did once the latent earth
and raised it from its flat
and dormant state.

---

I enjoy poetry that makes me think hard, puzzles me even. This is great.

I wonder what kind of syllables these are, what kind of undeveloped beginnings or perhaps even middles, or ends.

A swarm of bees would make a long, droning sound. A constant vowel. But they are gone now, vanished. Yet precious breath arrived in the past and gave life and shape to the earth, and hopefully it will come again. What will happen then?

Where are you taking us with this, Prince?

Please don't answer. And if I've missed something quite obvious, please don't tell me.

Thanks for sharing.

DH

I like you Doc. Sometimes I just don't want to know. I like the way these good things tickle my mind.
Nice job, Prince! You've made me appreciate my own breath.

Wow, Prince, this is really good. It has a real Yeats feel to it. Really great.... a lot to mull over.