The Serpent and the Savior

The Serpent and the Savior

The serpent’s cold unblinking gaze doth pierce her thoughts within
through pupils moist as morning dew,
yet innocent of sin.
Yet clean in calm contentedness,
yet free from self’s desire,
till writhes around the woman’s heart
the promise of a liar…

“Though Eden’s realm be truly filled, yet wanton is your life.
Seek not the peace of grateful heart
but fill yourself with strife.
See not the goodness roundabout,
but let yourselves rebel
beyond perceptions blessed by God
that you be gods as well.

Delude thyself till ends of time in ways which you believe.
Let dark perspectives chain your soul,
that ever may you grieve.
Be cursed throughout eternity
to struggle in your plight.
Be thus condemned with all your seed
to live without His light.”

The Savior’s warm and cleansing Word comes down to fallen men.
From cosmic realm to hardened heart,
He calls us back again.
By gift of tortured sacrifice,
to break the serpent’s grip,
through Holy Blood on human heart
the coils start to slip…

“Though primal sin hath tore your soul, think not yourselves condemned.
For by the gift I offer you
may spirits start to mend.
Your countenance shall yet again
be lifted to the height
which ancients knew before they felt
the serpent’s poison bite.

Come out of her my people now, return yourselves to me.
I walk the path of blood alone
to lead the captives free.
I give myself as sacrifice
against mortality,
that men may touch the face of God
throughout eternity."

Genesis 3:1

I admire the technique of the longer first line of each stanza, like a proclamation that the rest of the stanza unfolds for us.

This is probably the best piece of yours I have read on here - the language you use is powerful if slightly archaic, but is also melodious and gives it a brilliant flow.

H

A powerful poem indeed that eloquently reflects, nay - illuminates your core beliefs.

Well done !

Humbly,
and thank you for your earlier kind remarks,
with admiration,
tailor STATELY

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hillwalker

This is probably the best piece of yours I have read on here - the language you use is powerful if slightly archaic, but is also melodious and gives it a brilliant flow.

H

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Thanks, it was supposed to be more about choices we make between negative perspective and positive perspective, with negative perspective being something which came over mankind when the fall of man occurred, and being a type of blinding evil that has become our natural disposition....to the point that we now naturally defer to a darker, negative perspective on things around us.

That point did not come across as strongly as I wished. Difficult to wrap that notion into a rhyme 'n' rhythm kind of format.

You and William Blake would have got along famously, although he sympathised with Lucifer I believe (a fallen angel whose rebellion against God was justified in Blake's eyes as a freedom fight against patriarchism).