One Last Kiss

One Last Kiss the story



"I Love ___________"

chapter 1


Jessica (age 13) was sitting on the river bank not so very long ago. When her big sister, Amanda (age 15), came over and said "Jessica come on were leaving!"
"Ok." she said. So they ran home. When they got home their father, the king, said "Jessica!!!! Amanda!!!! Get over here I need to ask you something."
"Yeah?" They both asked.
"Have you seen Kiki?" (Kiki is their sister, she is 7.)
"No, the last time we saw her was when she was in her room playing."
A half hour later, Kiki came in covered in mud! "Kiki don't track mud in this castle!" the king yelled.
"Sorry daddy I'm going back outside." She said in a cute voice.
"Kiki where were you and why are you covered in mud?" Their dad demanded.
"I went on one of the trails because my ball rolled down a hill. I went to go get it but i tripped and fell in mud." She explained.
"You know your not supposed to go anywhere with out a cell phone. People have the mind to kidnap princesses like you, And regular people for their money. I don't want that to happen to you." he said.
"I understand daddy, it will not happen again. Hey when are we leaving to the mansion?" Kiki asked.
"As soon as you get washed up." He answered. After Kiki got washed up, They said goodbye to their castle and hello to their new mansion.



Chapter 2

An hour later, they got to the mansion. All of their stuff was moved in, so they went to look arund.
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Meanwhile, on the other side of the mansion gates, some boys were playing baseball in the baseball diamond next door. Suddenly one of the boys hit the ball over the mansion gates. "Hey, Scottie, I hit the ball over the gate. Can you go with me to get it?" Christian asked.
"Sure... lets get this over with." Scottie moaned. They walked to the gate and rang the doorbell.
The gates opened, so they went to the mansion door and knocked.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jessica looked through the window before opening the door. There were these two cute guys standing outside. "Amanda, come here and see this." Jessica called into the living room. Amanda looked through the window. "Hey....." She said while taking her headphones out of her ears. Jessica opened the door, "Can I help you?" Jessica asked. The hot emo boy who was obviously older than Jessica smiled.
"Hey, my brother hit his ball over your gate. Im sorry to bother you but may we please get it?" He asked. Amanda nodded at Jessica.
"Yeah, umm, come on in." Jessica said. They walked in and Amanda shut the door. "Well, I'm Jessica, I'm 13, and this is Amanda, she is 15." Jessica announced.
"Well, hi Jessica. Amanda. I'm Christian I'm 13 as well, and this is Scottie, he is also 15." The younger boy said. Jessica smiled. Christian was hot! And by the look on Amanda's face, Jessica could tell she thought Scottie was,too. They were walking through the art room in their mansion when all of a sudden, "Wow!!!!" Scottie and Christian both said at the same time. "Where did this stuff come from?"
"All this stuff is from the family." Amanda explained. "You know, we ARE royalty." " Whoa!!!!!!!!" Scottie yelled. "You are?!?"
"Yup." Jessica answered.
When they got to the backyard, Jessica said, "Doesn't it look like a forest?"
"Yeah it does." Christian answered. "Hey I found my ball! Its in the pond." He got his ball with his shirt, then dried it off. "So...." Scottie said to Amanda. "What school are you going to?"
"The local school around here." Amanda answered.
"Wenchcock Academy?" Christian asked. "Yeah!" Jessica answered.
"Such a preppy-jock school..." Scottie laughed. "But I hang out with the rockers and the emo kids there. You can hang out with us if you want Amanda."
"Oh, thanks." Amanda said, looking down at the floor.
"Well, I should offer you to hang out with me and my friends, but I'm not sure you'd like getting dirty, playing sports all the time." Christian told Jessica.
"No way! I wouldn't mind. I love sports!" Jessica replied.
"Cool." He said. "See you tomorrow at school then."
"Oh yeah,and I'll be on the side of the main building with all my friends." Scottie said. "Okay, thanks. Bye Scottie, bye Christian" Amanda and Jessica both said. They left the mansion and went home. "They are so freakin' hot!" They both agreed. The next day they got ready for their first day at their new school.



Chapter 3

"Bye dad!" They all said. They grabbed their backpacks, then left for school. In math class, on the announcements, Mr.Cola was yapping away about how bad the planet was getting or something like that... but anyways after all of Mr.Cola's yapping, Mr.Ito started the lesson as usual. As Mr.Ito was talking about math, Christian had a conversation with Jessica (of course it was by notes).
The note said "Hey, Jessica!"
Jessica wrote back "Hey."
"Are you going to the halloween dance? My friend is having it at his house."
"I don't know... when is it?"
"Next friday."
"Oh..."
"I was wondering if you want to go with me."
"Uh....sure....pick me up at five?"
"Ok." And the note went on. After class, Jessica met up with Kiki and a friend.
"Hey, Kiki!"
"Hey, Jessica! This is Sarah!"
"Hey, Sarah!" Sarah was silent.
"Sarah dosen't speak english."
"Then teach her! Oh! I have to get to class, bye Kiki!"
"Ok, bye!" At last period in Mr.Lorenzo's class, the loud speaker turned on. Mr. Mean (The vice principal) said "Ok kids! The time you all have been waiting for is finally here! Rooms 1-12 get your uniforms now!" Mr.Lorenzo's class was room 11! They got their uniforms and left the school. Amanda was cursing at the staff saying
" I will ******* sue this ******* retarded school you retarded ********! I'm not wearing this ****!" Then ran out of the school. Kiki went to Sarah's house to play dolls. (dolls are retarded) Christian walked Jessica home.
"What are you gonna wear to the dance, Jessica?" Christian asked curiously.
"I'm thinking of wearing my cat suit with my cat ears, Why?" She replied.
"Well, cause maybe I can be a dog or something." Christian said.
"Oh! Well thats a good idea. Be a dog. Or how about a..." She was cut off.
" Well I'll see you tomorrow, Jessica." Christian said walking away.
"K, see ya!" Jessica yelled back. She went inside.


Chapter 4

"Hey dad?" Jessica asked.
"Yes my beautiful child." The king answered.
"Can I go to the halloween store with Amanda since she was supposed to go today?" Jessica asked.
"Yes of course. As long as you take Kiki with you guys." The king said.
"Kiki went to Sarah's house." Jessica said.
"Well whoever that is...Well ok then as long as you be back by 8:30." The King said.
"That's fine with us! Right, Jessica?" Amanda asked. Jessica nodded.
"Well we'll see ya later daddy!" Jessica and Amanda yelled as they walked out of the door.
"Bye..." the King was interrupted by the phone ringing.
"Hello?" the King answered the phone.
"This is a prerecorded message from Wenchcock Academy to notify you that your child in grade 9 has been marked absent first and second period. They may possibly be suspended from their actions. It is mandatory that you call and excuse their absence as soon as possible. Thank you." He hung up the phone and dialed a number. It rang for a little bit and then Jessica answered it.
"Hello?"
"Hello? Jessica? give the phone to Amanda. Immediately!" The King ordered. Jessica gave the phone to Amanda.
"Hey, What's up?"
"Oh nothing. I just got a phone call saying you skipped classes. Can you explain this?" The king asked.
"Ummmm..." Amanda hesitated.
"Amanda Lee Kiana! You are grounded when you get home missy! Do you hear me?!? I mean this! I'll see you at home to talk to you!" He hung up the phone.
"What was his problem? So I skipped a couple of classes. God ****."
"Ok...whatever..." Jessica said."Lets just get our costumes and get out of here, Amanda."
"Fine but I'm not coming back with you." Amanda said.
"What do you mean?" Jessica asked.
"I'm going to a friends house after this, So I'm not going home with you." Amanda answered.
"....Ok.... You do that Amanda.... but dad will be MAD." Jessica said.


Chapter 5

When Jessica got home her father was PISSED.
"Where is your ******* sister?"
"She said she was going to a friend's house." Jessica said,
"Just don't yell at me no more."
"Ok I'm sorry. Its not your fault." The King said.
"Daddy! I'm home!" Kiki yelled.
"Kiki, who is this Sarah?" The king asked.
"Daddy! This Sarah is my friend! Don't talk about her like that!" She answered.
"Well I can do whatever I want! Infact, I will have her executed tonight!" The king roared.
"Daddy, you can't do that. Your not going to because if mother was alive you wouldn't do nothing of the sort!" Kiki yelled as she ran off.
"Kiki!" The king yelled. "I'm sorry!"
"Its ok dad, she'll get over it." Jessica said softly.
"I know Jes..." The king sighed. "So... Where was I?"
"Um... Something about Amanda." Jessica reminded him.
"Oh, yeah, right. She is going to be in big trouble! Do you recall her saying a name?" The king asked.
Jessica was silent. She gazed at the floor.
"Well?" the king asked impatiently.
"She's...." Jessica began.
"Continue..." the king urged.
"She's... at Scottie's...." she replied with hesitation.
"SHE'S WHERE?!? AT A BOYS HOUSE?!?!" He bellowed with rage.
Jessica winced, thinking, 'God, why didn't I just pretend she didn't mention a name?'
The king huffed and regained his composure. "Thank you, Jes, your information was useful." He thanked her and left to his study.
"Your welcome..." She answered back and left to her room. Thinking to herself 'Did I do the right thing?' She got to her room and found Kiki messing with her jewelry, clothes, and her diary, and also reading it to her friend Sarah. Jessica ran to the phone and hung up. Kiki ran out of the room leaving the place a mess. After Jessica cleaned her room, she went down stairs to tell her father what Kiki did. When unexpectedly, saw Amanda and Scottie standing in the hallway. "Oh my god! They found them!" She whispered.


Chapter 6

Two of the family's largest and toughest guards were holding both Scottie and Amanda by the arms as if they were criminals.
"Come on, dad.... is this necessary?" Amanda moaned.
Scottie was silent, afraid to speak before the angry king and his huge guards.
The king shrugged and nodded at the guards to release their grip.
"Amanda Lee Kiana, why were you at this boy's house without permission?" he demanded.
"You really think I want to come home to yelling, dad? I mean come on I think we all hear enough of the problems in this country... maybe I'm just a LITTLE tired of this atmosphere, " she replied softly in a polite tone. "I'm really sorry I didn't ask, and I didn't tell you where I went, but I've had a bad day at school, and I don't feel like being scolded right now."
The king's expression remained stern. "We will discuss this school business later. But my only question is..." he turned his glare to Scottie, "What are your intentions with my daughter, young man?"
Scottie met the king's glare and spoke in a shaky voice. "I... uh... only met her yesterday, sir..." he cleared his throat and spoke in a more composed manner. "We are friends and nothing more. She hangs out with me at school, and she just came over out of nowhere... I SWEAR, I didn't ask her to."
"Is this true, Amanda?" the king asked.
"Yes dad. Scottie, I'm very sorry I put you in this situation. It's all my fault. I was being very irresponsible." Amanda said, stealing a glance at her father.
Her speech seemed to satisfy him.
"Very well. Scottie, I apologize for my tone against you. You seem like a fine, admirable young man. You have my approval to be in my house after school hours and before supper... AFTER, however, Amanda becomes ungrounded."
Amanda groaned, and looked at the floor.
The king glanced at her. "I suppose you have a more sincere apology for Scottie here, Amanda. I grant you my permission to escort him home and apologize. If you're not in this house in 15 minutes, though, I will send a search party. Are we clear?" he asked.
"Yes. Thank you, father. I will be right back... I promise." Amanda agreed.
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Amanda and Scottie walked silently down the sidewalk to Scottie's house. The sky was dark, but was lit by a full moon and several stars scattered across the night sky.
Amanda bit her lip and stared at the ground while they walked. Scottie walked slower, and Amanda slowed down 2 match his pace.
"What's on your mind?" he asked suddenly.
"Excuse me?" Amanda asked.
"You're not that hard to read, Amanda. I know you have something to get off your chest..."
"Yeah.... but... it's stupid... don't even worry about it, ok?" she replied.
Scottie stopped and turned to face her. "Tell me. Please?" he persuaded.
"You know how when my dad asked about your intentions for me?" she began.
"Yes... where are you going with this?" Scottie asked.
"Did you really mean what you said about being friends and friends only?"
He paused, and was silent for a moment.
'Crap...' Amanda thought. 'Am I being too literal or whatever? I probably shouldn't have said that...'
"Depends..." Scottie trailed off.
"On...?" Amanda questioned.
"Do YOU want to be only my friend?" he looked at her face.
Amanda felt her heart stop. 'Is he flirting kinda or is he being serious?'
"Well..." she said, "When I met you, I was sort of hoping we'd be a little more than that.... after a while at least, you know?"
Scottie laughed. Amanda raised a brow. "What's so funny?"
"You." he smiled. "It's funny how we both feel pretty much the same way, but what would've taken me a long time to say, you said so quickly in a single sentence. I suck at this stuff." he grinned.
Amanda grinned back. "I've noticed."
They began walking again.
"So, when do you think you'll be ungrounded?" Scottie asked casually.
Amanda shrugged. "I actually don't know. My dad is a little unpredictable. I expected him to condemn you to execution or something like that but instead, he refers to you as 'a fine, admirable young man,'." Amanda quoted her father. "It's weird. Maybe he'll be nice and give me a few weeks or days. Maybe he'll never let me go out again except for on appropriate occasions... you never know. But I'll let you know at school." she said.
The two stopped. They were on Scottie's porch.
He turned to her. "Well, I'm glad we had this talk." he smiled.
"Me too." Amanda almost whispered.
He stepped up to his door. "See ya at school tomorrow, right?"
"Right." she nodded.
Scottie opened the door and gave her a small wave. "Bye."

Chapter 7

Amanda walked into the mansion exactly 1 minute before she was supposed to be in. The king stood waiting for her.
"Dad, have you been standing here the entire time I was gone?" she asked.
"Heavens no!" the king exclaimed. "I may be a little uptight at times, but I'm no fool."
"Ok, well when do you want to talk about school?"
"Now." he replied.
"Here?" Amanda questioned, looking around the hallway.
"Why don't we talk in the study?" he suggested.
"Sure..."
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Amanda stared at her father from across his desk. He had his reading glasses on his face in a serious fashion, and it reminded her of sitting across from the principal in his office after misbehaving.
He leaned back in his large chair. "Care to explain why I got a call from your school today about you missing two classes?" he asked calmly.

"Today in first period before the teacher took role, we heard on the announcements that we have to go pick up our uniforms. I didn't really think much of it until I SAW the things. Dad, they were dark yellow polo shirts with a stiff collar and a donkey embroidered on the breast pocket. A DONKEY, dad. A DONKEY!!! What idiot picks a freakin' donkey as the school mascot?!? And I'm sorry but dark yellow is a HORRIBLE color. And those skirts! They're just a plain dark green with a yellow stripe on the side. I just had to walk out of there. EVERYONE hates them, dad. They can't MAKE me wear that!" Amanda exclaimed.

"I can see your point, I suppose." the king agreed. "But Amanda, dear, was it really necessary to walk out of class and leave? Where did you go? And most of all, why did you skip the first two periods and actually come back to school?" he asked.

"I don't know... I guess I remembered you telling Kiki about not wandering off by herself, so I came back at lunchtime and stayed the rest of the day. Figured I was better off at school anyways. And it's not like we have to start wearing the uniforms until next week. Oh, and I went to the little pond by the woods and the park." Amanda replied.

The king nodded. "While I still believe it was foolish to run off from school, I can see what upset you. Tomorrow, I will go to your school on behalf of you and all of the students at your school and compromise with the supervisor." he explained.

"Thanks, dad." Amanda said.
"No problem. Now, do you promise to be good? No more skipping classes?"
"I'll be good, I promise."
"Good girl. And since we talked things out here like responsible adults, I am only grounding you for the rest of this week. So you will only spend Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday grounded. You will not be grounded Saturday and Sunday, however, if you make up the work you missed in your first two classes by Wednesday. Do we have a deal?"
"Yes, dad. Thanks a lot. I appreciate it." She stood and turned to leave for her room.
"Mhm. and one more thing..." the king began.
"Yea, dad?" Amanda turned around and asked.
"I know I owe you girls an apology for the way I've been acting around here the last few years since your mother passed away. It gets a little difficult running things by myself here sometimes." the king apologized. He took off his glasses and rubbed his tired face.
"Now get some sleep, Amanda. It's 11PM and you've got school tomorrow. Goodnight."
"Night dad, thanks again."

She turned and headed upstairs to her room. Jessica walked in a minute or so later and sat on the edge of the bed. "How'd it go?" she asked.
"Fine." Amanda sighed. "Dad surprisingly grounded me only for the rest of the week."
"You shoulda been grounded longer dumb dumb head!" Kiki called from the doorway.
"UGH! Kiki get out of here!" Amanda said.
"Yeah, get in bed! What are you doing up? Maybe I should tell the monster under your bed to come out tonight..." Jessica threatened.
"Yea right, Jessica. I'm telling daddy." Kiki complained.
"You shouldn't do that, Kiki..." Amanda warned. "'Cause I might just tell the monster in your closet to come out and have a super monster party in your room with the monster from under your bed..."
"You're such a liar, Amanda! And besides, I LIKE parties." Kiki smirked.
"Not THESE parties." Jessica smiled at Amanda. "The monsters will be having fun... but you wont."

"STOP!!!!" Kiki wailed. "You guys are mean!!!"
"And YOU are annoying. Now got to bed." Jessica demanded.
Kiki stomped from the room.
Amanda laughed."WOW Jes, WOW."
Jessica smiled. "Anyways... what did you and Scottie talk about?"
Amanda filled her in.
"Ooh, what do think will happen? You think he will ask you out?" Jessica asked with excitement.
"I don't know. I sure hope so though. I really do." Amanda replied.

Chapter 8

The next day the girls and the king went to the school and discussed the matter of the disgusting and ugly uniforms and convinced them to change them into black and white uniforms instead.

Um? I don't get it.

. . . .
Uhhmmmm, it isn't exactly all that refined.

How old are you again?

What do you mean? Tell me what I'm doing wrong! I need to know!

Anybody who summons up enough courage to post a story should be commended for doing that. It's not easy.

However, you could use a lot more practice. And practice is a necessary step in developing an ability to write. Your story is somewhat juvenile - hence someone asked how old you are. But you have to start somewhere, and starting now is better than waiting until you're older.

In the meanwhile, be aware that your spelling, punctuation, and grammar say a lot about you. And in your case, they don't paint a very flattering picture. You couldn't have spent much time in checking your spelling or punctuation. If you did spend a lot of time on that, don't admit to it - that would be even worse.

You even have a spelling error in your signature!

how? how is this possable?

You want the truth?
Do you want me scrape at it bit by bit and tear into it like a suckling lamb?
I'd be more than happy to do it, really, but I think I might be too mean.
:/

Will the family's corruption continue? keep going angel, but have a destination.

The plot of the story is really great! Now when we get too the punctuation & spelling, (not to mension the language) :(:( Not so good. And if you need help call someone or ask someone. Not counting me because I stink at spelling and punctuation. :D Shurtagal can help! She written 2 books already.

So yeah! Don't be afraid to ask for help, and keep Writing.

angel... first of, don't freak out about the spelling... i stink to. just fix it. that goes with everything else. fix it. don't freak. don't get upset. fix it. remember, when you post something-- ANY WHERE-- you are asking to get your worked chood up then spit at you. think of it as wine tasting... they the wine then spit it out, tell you everything that's wrong with it, then add that tis and that was good. girl, that's life. you're probably wondering "Why the heck is Shurtie telling me this?! I asked about my story, not my life!" yeah, i know. but seriously, you got majorly chewed up here! which rocks because that means people are reading it!!! dude, i wish i got my stuff reviewed and commented as much as you just got. even if it's how bad it is, it's sooooooooooo better then nothing. TRUST ME! i've gotten no reviews and it's so discouraging...
anywho, now for my little comment about the story.
grammer's bad. (already said) spelling's bad. (already said) punctuation bad. (already said.) frankly i disagree kinda with midnight... the plot isn't that good. the reason for this is because it's waaaaaaaaayyyyyyy to quick. one day she's a knew girl, next day she's got a boyfriend. hun, even fantasy is more real then that. and when righting in third person, always avoid using the term "Cute boys"! very imature in righting... maybe have it has like jessica's thought, but don't describe characters as "cute". save for babies and animals, but even... avoid it!
also... why do you have cussing? seriously, cussing doesn't have to be their. i frankly think it's stupid. if you're doing it to make it more "grown-up","mature", it so kills it. as in, makes it way worse!
one last thing, before you pm me asking who the heck am i to chop up your story like i did, read over everything people have said and think about it. also, pm the people on here who commeted and ask them what the meant and how they think you could fix it. i'm always available, though midnight seems to have already offered me to service.

Advice: Where are they? A made up land? Or what? You need to describe more. For instants what is going on as she sits at the river bank? What time is? Not so long ago. What century is this? "People may ask" And say her age when you introduce her not when you introduce her sister. And when they're talking, it shouldn't be in the same paragraph that is very important. And if you're talking as Jessica make sure you describe her feelings, which are really hard at times so you may want to practice. And when Kiki is introduced then you should tell the age.

King... What is his name? King??? You don't have to put his name… But if you decide to do it, do it in the beginning not in the middle of the story. Ok when you first introduce the boys, actually it was really good towards my perspective. "Suddenly one of the boys hit the ball over the mansion gates." You don't really have to add the "Suddenly". And I soooo agree with Shurtagal about the "cute" thing. And try not to use parenthesis, they don't make the story look that good. "Hey, Kiki!" "Hey, Jessica! This is Sarah!" "Hey, Sarah!" Sarah was silent."Sarah dosen't speak english." "Then teach her! Oh! I have to get to class Bye Kiki!" "Ok, bye!" And this whole segment I do not understand one bit…. So I would work on it if I were you.


And what aBigsheep said was rude and inconsiderate. :(
But keep on working at it and you'll do fine! ;)

what aBIGsheep said was true however, even if he said it rudely.

That was awesome. Keep writing and posting your stuff on here.

you guys! thank you for the advise!