Portrait of a Woman as an Artist - by Woman
Keep in mind I wrote this at 1AM. :lol:
Setting: A nightclub. Hip Hop is playing over the speakers. A 40ish woman walks into the club, studies the crowd, then proceeds to the dance floor.
She dances in rhythm to the music, but not sexually like the rest of the herd. Her moves are professional and polished, but simultaneously improvised and self-choreographed.
A black cap (not baseball, more poor boy) is pulled down over her face, so her features are strategically hidden beneath the brim.
Pop music star 1 walks over and surveys her for a moment.
Pop Star 1: “I like your moves. Can I dance with you?”
Woman immediately recognizes him.
Woman: “Sure.”
Pop Star 1 and Woman proceed to dance her way to the music.
Pop Star 2 walks over and watches them dance. He smiles at her, and points sideways, then looks at Pop Star 1.
Pop Star 2: “Check her out.”
Pop Star 1: “She’s good, isn’t she?”
Pop Star 2 joins them, and they dance her way.
Pop Star 2: “So, do you sing?”
Woman: “Sure I sing. Not well, but I sing. Want to hear?”
Pop Star 2 laughs.
Pop Star 2: “So you’re a dancer.”
Woman: “By nature only. I’ve never taken a dance class in my life.”
Pop Star 1: “So what is it you do? I mean, what brought you here?”
Woman: “A friend gave me a ticket. Actually, I’m supposed to meet him here, but he’s dancing with a bunch of other women, and I don’t compete, especially with dim-witted, vapid bimbos. It’s against my ethics and self-respect to intervene while a man is with a woman, so I will just stay here, dance and have fun.”
Pop Star 1: “Who is he?”
Woman smiles.
Woman: “Wouldn’t you like to know, but I’m not going to tell.”
Pop Star 1: “Well we’ll just have to make him jealous.”
Pop Star 1 calls Pop Star 3 (who is also a famous producer) and Pop Star 4 over and they all dance her way. Pop Star 1 then proceeds to grind against her. The woman blushes, throws her hands over her face and giggles in embarrassment.
Woman: “Oh, I don’t think he’ll want me after this. In fact, I’m sure he’ll be disgusted by it.”
Pop Star 1: “He’ll be jealous; trust me.”
Woman: “But he doesn’t even know who I am; we’re meeting for the first time in person, and besides, it’s just not my style to be so graphic. I’m shy.”
Pop Star 1 smiles but backs off. They continue to dance, then Pop Star 3 excuses himself but hands her his business card and says “call me”.
Pop Star 4 wanders off after Pop Star/Producer 3. Eventually Pop Star 2 also wanders off.
The music changes and Pop Star 1 and Woman cease dancing.
Pop Star 1: “You’re wearing me out.”
Woman smiles.
Woman: “You need to quit the weed.”
Pop Star 1 grins at her, amused.
Pop Star 1: “Hey, can I buy you a drink?”
Woman: “I don’t drink but you can buy me a Red Bull or water if you want.”
Pop Star 1 escorts Woman over to bar and purchases her a water and himself a drink. He then looks around at the crowd.
Pop Star 1: “Look, I need to say ‘Hello’ to some friends, but I’ll be right back. Wait for me here?”
Woman: “Sure. Well, I’m going to the bathroom, but I’ll come back.”
Woman heads off to restroom; Pop Star walks towards Actor dancing with four women.
Pop Star 1 (to actor): “Hey man, how’s it going?”
Pop Star 1 shakes Actor’s hand, then pulls him in to whisper in his ear.
Pop Star 1: “I think I’ve met a friend of yours, but she’s not going to come over and say hello as long as you’re dancing with all these women. If you want me to take her off your hands, though, I’ll be glad to do it.”
Actor looks around.
Actor: “Why, where is she?”
Pop Star 1: “She’s in the bathroom.”
Actor: “Is she pretty?”
Pop Star 1: “She‘s pretty enough, but she’s cool as ****, man, and she can really dance.”
Just then Woman walks out of bathroom, goes to bar and sits down. She senses the two staring at her and immediately understands the situation. She pretends not to notice.
Pop Star 1 and Actor walk over to where she is sitting. At the last minute she looks up.
Pop Star 1: “ I want you to meet a friend of mine…”
Woman: “Oh, he’s your special friend. I am really sorry for intruding…”
Woman stands up as if to leave. Pop Star 1 grins at her.
Pop Star 1: “Girl, you know I’m not gay.”
Woman laughs coyly and sits back down.
Woman: “Well, that’s too bad. You’d have made a beautiful couple.”
Woman to Actor: “At last, we meet. Would you like to sit down?”
Actor sits down beside her.
Actor: “You know, you could have come over and said hello.”
Woman: “If a man is with a woman, I never interrupt. I don’t believe in competing with other women or fighting over men-- it’s utterly humiliating. If a man wants me, then he can approach me, and if he doesn’t want me, then I don’t want him, and things are better left unsaid.”
Actor: “But how was I supposed to know you were here?”
Woman: “If you wanted to meet me bad enough, you would look for me.”
Actor: “I had no idea you were even in the room.”
Woman smiles mischievously and bats her eyelashes.
Woman: “Well you didn’t look hard enough then, because I’ve been on that dance floor 20 feet away from you for over an hour.”
Actor cracks a smile.
Actor: “Hiding underneath a hat and heavy earrings no less. You win, your majesty. I should have checked all the hats in the room for who was concealed beneath the brims.”
Woman to Pop Star 1: “Would you like to have a seat? Sit with us for a moment. I know him well enough but I have some questions for you.”
Pop Star 1 sits down across from her.
Woman: “So, tell me, why do you think music is mathematical?”
Pop Star 1: “Well, it’s sequential and it repeats itself.”
Woman: “So, you think music is a simple matter of 32 counts switch sequence, 32 counts, switch sequence? Does Mozart fit into that category? Or Beethoven? Or how about jazz, especially improvisational jazz? See, I believe music has been reduced to a formula, much like current fiction, and mass produced, so that what we have now is not lyrical art, but kitschy crap. We have destroyed music by applying a formula to it.
Don’t be part of the problem, be part of the solution. I want you to go home and write me something - I won’t share it with anyone - and I want you to think outside of the box. Don’t think in terms of making money off of it, but only making art for art’s sake. Be an artist, not a producer or a singer or a dancer. Artists are inspired by something greater than this material world, whether that be God, another individual or themselves.
Would you do that for me?”
Pop Star 1 stares seriously at her for a moment.
Pop Star 1: “Yeah. Yeah I will. How do I get in touch with you?”
Woman hands him a piece of paper.
Woman: “This is my phone number and email address. You can send me a music file.”
Woman turns to look at actor.
Woman: “And you - I want you to stop staring in Blockbuster movies. I want you to pick one play you can perform in the theater, or one indie film - something you really like - and do it. Think not in terms of the almighty dollar you’ll make, but in creating something unique and artistic. Film yourself or give me a ticket to the play so I can see what you’ve done. Would you do that for me?”
The actor laughs.
Actor: “I know, I know. It’s something I’ve been thinking about doing for some time.”
Woman: “Then do it! Would you promise me you’ll do it?”
Actor gazes at her, pleased.
Actor: “Yeah, I’ll do it. Now I want you to go home and write one story…”
The woman chuckles loudly.
Actor (continuing): “…it can be any story you like, but you have to think outside the box.”
Woman: “But that’s my problem: for me thinking outside the box means thinking inside the box and I can’t think inside the stupid box.”
Actor (continues): “Write me a story, any story you like, but it has to be creative and inspired.”
Woman thinks to herself for a moment, then says “I have the perfect idea.”
THE END
