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05-13-2013, 06:21 PM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread Our Echo / Kill Everybody in Personal Poetry

Eh, this could be a taste thing, but this reader isn't buying it, Grit. These preachy poems aren't hitting any emotional resonance here. The scorn...

6 replies | 244 view(s)

05-12-2013, 07:29 PM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread Hog Day Afternoon in General Writing

This was funny, Aunty. Also easy and pleasant to read. J

6 replies | 281 view(s)

05-10-2013, 07:44 PM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread Man in a Box in Short Story Sharing

That was a good-*** movie dawg. J

12 replies | 658 view(s)

05-10-2013, 01:01 PM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread Well here is one of mine. in Personal Poetry

It ain't bad, T. But it is long. Is that first stanza helping your poem or just dragging it out? The whole thing could do with a thinning, though. ...

2 replies | 225 view(s)

05-10-2013, 04:02 AM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread Torrey Pines in Short Story Sharing

Remember reading this years ago. Your revisions are really good, Steven. J

2 replies | 238 view(s)

05-09-2013, 01:55 PM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread Character Names ? in General Writing

Dick Danger. J

10 replies | 587 view(s)

05-07-2013, 06:08 PM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread Man in a Box in Short Story Sharing

hill lying down the law! J

12 replies | 658 view(s)

05-07-2013, 05:03 AM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread steppenwolf in Hesse, Hermann

This reader now has understanding of this book. Steppenwolf is a (more) metaphorical account of Jung's process of individuation (they were friends,...

18 replies | 4190 view(s)

05-07-2013, 12:31 AM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread Man in a Box in Short Story Sharing

Trippy, Grit. An interesting story that defies expectations. Your writing style is so much better this time around. J

12 replies | 658 view(s)

05-05-2013, 10:28 AM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread The saddest day in Personal Poetry

This is the worst haiku ever. Mr. Folini, though insistent on promoting an anthropomorphized deity, seems to be making a central point here....

4 replies | 177 view(s)

05-05-2013, 06:13 AM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread "Cat Food", a whimsical supernatural short story in Short Story Sharing

That was a weird turn of violence. For some reason, the femur breaking part was notably gruesome to this reader. This piece has some problems,...

4 replies | 231 view(s)

05-03-2013, 02:26 PM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread Indifferent Gods in Short Story Sharing

Yes! No tail curling. The world and this forum is a worse place without your efforts so get back to work. Don't give up. You took a debt. LitNet...

11 replies | 646 view(s)

05-03-2013, 07:02 AM

Jack of Hearts posted a visitor message on qimissung's profile

Hey qi, everything is good. Hope you're ok. Same problem with the link, though. J

05-03-2013, 03:50 AM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread Children obesity, A concern for parents by Chera McCabe in General Chat

It's both, although for Emil it seems to be an "aesthetic" problem, and reading Emil's response sent this reader bad vibes without even being obese....

36 replies | 1230 view(s)

05-02-2013, 11:30 PM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread Indifferent Gods in Short Story Sharing

Globally, an improvement. Still kind of harsh to fall through, though. This reader understands only too well, believe that. It can be hard to get the...

11 replies | 646 view(s)

05-01-2013, 04:58 PM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread Fine Short Stories in General Writing

There've got to be some creeping around here somewhere... J

38 replies | 2983 view(s)

04-29-2013, 06:47 PM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread First few pages of my first book - looking for critique and thoughts! in General Writing

Well, it's unexpected to find the level of skill you've shown at 18 year old, so congratulations. No real idea what to tell you about that stuff,...

13 replies | 567 view(s)

04-29-2013, 01:12 PM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread First few pages of my first book - looking for critique and thoughts! in General Writing

The prose itself is not bad! You may actually be toting some talent there, in this reader's opinion. It's somewhat hidden though because... ...

13 replies | 567 view(s)

04-28-2013, 12:36 AM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread suicides in novels in General Writing

What an ugly, ugly thread. The pop understanding of suicide doesn't permit most people to fully understand your position YesNo. But that's age...

158 replies | 4754 view(s)

04-27-2013, 06:16 PM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread Unfinished in Short Story Sharing

Like a fart coming downwind, here's Jackie. The best thing this piece has going for it is its simplicity. It doesn't trip itself up on any aspect...

4 replies | 311 view(s)

04-26-2013, 02:20 PM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread Silvia wants a White Wedding in Short Story Sharing

Your 'story-conversations' are increasingly poignant, Mr. Steven Hunley. A snack sized serving, just right. J

3 replies | 376 view(s)

04-26-2013, 11:55 AM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread Title Pending (Need a quick review before I progress with the story) in Short Story Sharing

This pretty much nails it. Nobody really cares to hear this character, at this point in the story (or probably ever), spew a bunch of conveniently...

4 replies | 389 view(s)

04-26-2013, 11:45 AM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread The Woodchopper's Ball in Short Story Sharing

Is this what England is like? Good work, hill, even if some of this went flying over this reader's head. Gotta agree with Aunty on the line breaks,...

13 replies | 739 view(s)

04-23-2013, 09:56 PM

Jack of Hearts started a thread Untitled Composition 18 in Short Story Sharing

delete

8 replies | 539 view(s)

04-22-2013, 10:24 PM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread Between the Curtains in Short Story Sharing

Steven, Steven, Steven... What you need is a dialogue between a man and a woman! Half kidding aside, a fine enough quick read. Makes no real...

4 replies | 361 view(s)

04-22-2013, 10:18 PM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread Indifferent Gods in Short Story Sharing

This wasn't a bad read at all. It needs some more TLC for sure though. It needs to be streamlined in a pretty significant way, and the prose itself...

11 replies | 646 view(s)

04-22-2013, 09:38 PM

Jack of Hearts started a thread Untitled Composition 16 in Short Story Sharing

delete

6 replies | 276 view(s)

04-21-2013, 08:39 PM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread New novel - available from this weekend. in General Chat

Well how about that... This is worth a gander!

9 replies | 546 view(s)

04-21-2013, 08:05 PM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread Other Publication in Serious Discussions

Congratulations. Read them and thought the first one fared better, though neither were to this reader's particular taste. But this isn't the review...

6 replies | 426 view(s)

04-19-2013, 07:02 PM

Jack of Hearts replied to a thread Foils in Literature in General Writing

Holy good frickin' cripes. It's hard to imagine that assessment passing through the school system of your patrie, cacian. Are you sure you're...

17 replies | 675 view(s)

Myshkin.
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