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bortleman
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bortleman
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01-15-2013
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Today,
06:56 PM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
cubic balls.
in
Personal Poetry
If you're aiming for strict meter here maybe 'never admit' works better for the closing line. I like your explanation btw. H
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5 replies | 120 view(s)
Today,
06:53 PM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
Depression To Die For.
in
Personal Poetry
It gets a bit prosey - verses 2 and 4 in particular. Not sure you're you're trying to take us with this, Jett. H
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4 replies | 96 view(s)
Today,
06:51 PM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
symmetry
in
Personal Poetry
Cakes or Turds? H
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5 replies | 117 view(s)
Today,
06:48 PM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
Spirit of the Seventies.
in
Short Story Sharing
Ever hear of ghosts, Volya?? This is up to your usual standards as far as the quality of writing is concerned - but the plot reads like...
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5 replies | 119 view(s)
Today,
06:32 AM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
Angel Eyes,
in
Personal Poetry
It's obvious what inspires you to write - but it's a bit samey after a while. Borderline Greetings Card versing when it's this slushy. H
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6 replies | 233 view(s)
Today,
06:29 AM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
A Short History of Postmodernism - Perspective of a Female Victim
in
Short Story Sharing
hehe - not so much the weather (sleet and hailstones in May for goodness' sake) as life being too short to spend time trawling through the rest of...
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6 replies | 279 view(s)
Yesterday,
08:34 PM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
A Short History of Postmodernism - Perspective of a Female Victim
in
Short Story Sharing
Consider yourself lucky I got that far. H
see more
6 replies | 279 view(s)
Yesterday,
08:32 PM
hillwalker
posted a
visitor message
on
Jerrybaldy's
profile
You're a true gent. Hope you enjoy it.
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Yesterday,
07:20 AM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
Last Night I helped A Man Die.
in
Short Story Sharing
Difficult for anyone to answer when the question is incomprehensible. H
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12 replies | 319 view(s)
Yesterday,
06:01 AM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
News
in
Personal Poetry
News 24 - it's provides us with an invisible filter between the suffering of the outside world and the comfort of our homes. And you capture this...
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6 replies | 206 view(s)
Yesterday,
05:52 AM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
A Short History of Postmodernism - Perspective of a Female Victim
in
Short Story Sharing
OMG. You provide the reader with end-notes. How hilarious is that? You're assuming we'll be reading this right the way to the end. I struggled to...
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6 replies | 279 view(s)
Yesterday,
05:39 AM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
The Block of Teenage (a.k.a. what the f***ing h*ll)
in
General Writing
Why?? Your work and the crits that follow will be valuable research material for other writers in your situation. We can all learn from other...
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10 replies | 433 view(s)
05-23-2013,
12:34 PM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
The Block of Teenage (a.k.a. what the f***ing h*ll)
in
General Writing
I'll not comment on the formatting. How you managed to figure out it takes less time to type something as a block of text rather than in separate...
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10 replies | 433 view(s)
05-22-2013,
12:52 PM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
Godslayer's Final Kill
in
Short Story Sharing
Hi Grit, I'm not a fan of fantasy fiction etc. so I'm not the best person to be critting this. But I'll comment as I read through anyway. Very...
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9 replies | 376 view(s)
05-21-2013,
03:41 PM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
Fate Was A Daughter.
in
Personal Poetry
I got as far as the second line and gave up. Poetry - not even close. On a different note - why are all your posts in bold. The font doesn't make...
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7 replies | 283 view(s)
05-21-2013,
03:36 PM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
Can I suggest an addition to the "Please read before posting" sticky?
in
Short Story Sharing
At last - something the mods should have done eons ago. H
see more
1 replies | 214 view(s)
05-21-2013,
03:35 PM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
Blue Eyes By Candlelight.
in
Short Story Sharing
Decent enough post - but it reads like a cross between a journal entry and a love letter to your date. Not sure what the rest of us are meant to get...
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3 replies | 282 view(s)
05-21-2013,
11:09 AM
Jack of Hearts
replied to a thread
Godslayer's Final Kill
in
Short Story Sharing
Nitpicks notwithstanding, it must be said that the story was interesting and contains some really original ideas. But more than that, having read...
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9 replies | 376 view(s)
05-21-2013,
10:55 AM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
Untitled Composition 27
in
Short Story Sharing
It gets better as it unravels. I like the laid-back, cut to the bare bones style. It suits the subject matter and you do it so well. Pt 2 when...
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3 replies | 242 view(s)
05-21-2013,
10:49 AM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
Playwriting
in
Personal Poetry
Good see you're doing it at last. H
see more
7 replies | 238 view(s)
05-21-2013,
10:47 AM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
The Dragon
in
Short Story Sharing
Not bad for a drunken scribble - though it looks rather too polished (despite the typos) for true stream of consciousness writing. The plot is...
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1 replies | 137 view(s)
05-21-2013,
10:36 AM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
Summer Of Love.
in
Short Story Sharing
This really captured the time - as well as the gawky feelings of adolescent love without being cheesy. There was obviously a huge neon sign half...
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10 replies | 335 view(s)
05-21-2013,
08:33 AM
hillwalker
posted a
visitor message
on
Jerrybaldy's
profile
Hehe - there's also the other side of the coin. How many 'drive-by' writers never came back after their first post because they didn't appreciate a...
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05-20-2013,
08:37 PM
Jack of Hearts
started a thread
Untitled Composition 27
in
Short Story Sharing
delete
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3 replies | 242 view(s)
05-20-2013,
07:53 PM
Jack of Hearts
replied to a thread
walking with dog and Biggus.
in
Personal Poetry
lol J
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6 replies | 269 view(s)
05-20-2013,
05:24 AM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
A story by a 10 year old - Together Through Weakness
in
General Writing
You're thirteen now and writing research essays. Would I like to read them? Not particularly. What I'd like is for you to let your hair down, take...
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17 replies | 763 view(s)
05-19-2013,
04:17 PM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
A story by a 10 year old - Together Through Weakness
in
General Writing
It might well have been written by a ten-year-old - and tidied up when you typed it into Word. But the point is surely that you have moved on and...
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17 replies | 763 view(s)
05-19-2013,
03:41 PM
Jack of Hearts
replied to a thread
I wish I could cast this mantle away
in
Personal Poetry
An unfortunate fact of life is that Mr. Folini is not a troll and posts with in a post-scholastic fashion. However, perhaps even more discouraging,...
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7 replies | 293 view(s)
05-19-2013,
02:22 PM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
Adventurous
in
General Writing
Yes - I read them again. There's no way of knowing who Hark is on the basis of what you give us here. It's all so ambiguous. H
see more
10 replies | 398 view(s)
05-19-2013,
07:00 AM
hillwalker
replied to a thread
Creative writing short story - Important Day
in
Short Story Sharing
The weak title and the opening five words of your story do you no favours. 'It was a very good day' - how do we know that? It's your job to show us...
see more
3 replies | 413 view(s)
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About bortleman
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About bortleman
Favorite Author:
Joseph Conrad, H.P. Lovecraft
Favorite Book:
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
Location:
California
Interests:
Writing
Occupation:
Hero
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You think they're selling you. Truth is, they're selling you out.
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07:01 PM
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