View Profile: raviorsunshine - Literature Network Forums

06-12-2013, 03:56 AM

hillwalker replied to a thread Short Story, Nicholas Brown in Short Story Sharing

Excellent analysis of the hours I have spent on here over the last 3 years. Your work here is now complete - I'll leave you to show everyone how it...

25 replies | 752 view(s)

06-12-2013, 03:52 AM

hillwalker replied to a thread Kindred in Short Story Sharing

I'll pass since my feedback is not worth the screen space it's written on. H

8 replies | 355 view(s)

06-11-2013, 04:00 PM

hillwalker replied to a thread Short Story, Nicholas Brown in Short Story Sharing

Over to you Nick - I'm done with communicating through your editor. H

25 replies | 752 view(s)

06-11-2013, 03:51 PM

hillwalker replied to a thread Short Story, Nicholas Brown in Short Story Sharing

It's not good etiquette to critique other members' feedback unless it's in response to your own posting. Even then it can seem overly defensive. ...

25 replies | 752 view(s)

06-11-2013, 01:00 PM

hillwalker replied to a thread Three poems to serenade Monday in Personal Poetry

Absolutely correct. I don't have an aversion to rhyme. I have written several poems that rhyme - and posted them on here. What I have an aversion to...

24 replies | 639 view(s)

06-11-2013, 11:33 AM

hillwalker replied to a thread Abrasive Hawk in Personal Poetry

Ok - I give in. Rhyme is sublime. I wish you all the best on those other sites where your skills are better appreciated. I'll not waste my time...

21 replies | 659 view(s)

06-11-2013, 11:27 AM

hillwalker replied to a thread Novel excerpt in General Writing

I'm not sure I should play along. But, what the hell - I quite enjoyed reading parts of this. It certainly keeps us on our toes. But you still...

2 replies | 177 view(s)

06-11-2013, 09:37 AM

hillwalker replied to a thread Three poems to serenade Monday in Personal Poetry

Thank goodness this isn't a 'scholarly literature site' in that case. These are unreadable, so your request 'don't read my poems' will at least be...

24 replies | 639 view(s)

06-11-2013, 03:34 AM

hillwalker replied to a thread Ant Farm in General Writing

http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/spick-and-span.html Whether or not I approve of your writing, the opinion of an independent reader is...

8 replies | 298 view(s)

06-10-2013, 05:45 PM

hillwalker replied to a thread Ant Farm in General Writing

You're a capable writer, and parts of this worked well. You also have a poetic turn of phrase when necessary without over-writing. A couple of...

8 replies | 298 view(s)

06-10-2013, 05:27 PM

hillwalker replied to a thread That Old Drunk in Short Story Sharing

I'll not go through the grammar point by point - missing apostrophes (the drunk's back'), spelling mistakes ('too' for 'to' and 'loosing' for...

3 replies | 186 view(s)

06-10-2013, 05:05 PM

hillwalker replied to a thread Abrasive Hawk in Personal Poetry

That makes it clear as mud. The possibility of it being misread as a question was never an issue. Who's and Whose are two totally different words...

21 replies | 659 view(s)

06-10-2013, 11:40 AM

hillwalker replied to a thread Abrasive Hawk in Personal Poetry

Hilarious. The subject of your sentence is the sun's rays - they are blighting the tawny shadow. That's how most people would read it the way it's...

21 replies | 659 view(s)

06-10-2013, 06:25 AM

hillwalker replied to a thread A dark place in Short Story Sharing

First of all - no one can teach you to write stories. They can teach you to improve your grammar and writing style and how to avoid the traps many...

4 replies | 260 view(s)

06-10-2013, 05:55 AM

hillwalker replied to a thread What makes a good introduction to a story? in General Writing

Brilliant! That's the best analogy I have ever read of how a story should start. If every aspiring writer got to read this there would be less...

3 replies | 189 view(s)

06-09-2013, 02:23 PM

hillwalker replied to a thread The Heroine of Jienda. (With light illustrations) in Short Story Sharing

I don't hate you - I just don't understand how you can compare this to Shakespeare. . . just because it's written in the form of a drama rather than...

11 replies | 449 view(s)

06-09-2013, 07:20 AM

hillwalker replied to a thread She Cries. in Personal Poetry

If you reformatted this it would be prose. Poetry isn't just a matter of breaking up sentences and paragraphs into the shape of a poem. H

3 replies | 183 view(s)

06-09-2013, 07:15 AM

hillwalker replied to a thread The Heroine of Jienda. (With light illustrations) in Short Story Sharing

'a bit of Shakespeare style of writing'? You're taking the p1ss, surely. It's like something conjured up for a video-game. H

11 replies | 449 view(s)

06-08-2013, 03:31 PM

hillwalker replied to a thread The Heroine of Jienda. (With light illustrations) in Short Story Sharing

I'm assuming this is meant to be a script. So not my cup of tea. Fan Art? I've no idea where you got that idea from. This is where most members...

11 replies | 449 view(s)

06-08-2013, 03:28 PM

hillwalker replied to a thread Prologue: A New Home in General Writing

Of course it's a personal opinion - like every opinion anyone else will give you. But I read a great deal and know what works for most writers - and...

5 replies | 230 view(s)

06-08-2013, 05:12 AM

hillwalker replied to a thread Abrasive Hawk in Personal Poetry

Unusual for the OP to critique his own piece - it's great that you enjoyed it. As for the amount of effort it took you to write - you're...

21 replies | 659 view(s)

06-08-2013, 05:04 AM

hillwalker replied to a thread Prologue: A New Home in General Writing

You ask elsewhere if there are good and bad ways to introduce a story. I would consider a Prologue to be one of the worst ways - it's usually a means...

5 replies | 230 view(s)

06-07-2013, 05:48 PM

hillwalker replied to a thread Existence derived from consciousness in Personal Poetry

Indeed - since there's not a queue of readers waiting to offer you their feedback. Welcome to LitNet by the way - I wonder how we survived before...

22 replies | 518 view(s)

06-07-2013, 02:16 PM

hillwalker replied to a thread Abrasive Hawk in Personal Poetry

How to kill a poem's spirit with ineffectual rhyme Lesson #1 - use the same end-rhyme 16 times in one poem. H

21 replies | 659 view(s)