View Profile: DieterM - Literature Network Forums

Yesterday, 11:58 PM

Delta40 replied to a thread Poverty Hindsight in Personal Poetry

Never fear. The pharmaceutical industry will try to convince my inspired creativity isn't the real me writing. Why, without them I might be a...

2 replies | 106 view(s)

Yesterday, 11:45 PM

Delta40 replied to a thread The Block of Teenage (a.k.a. what the f***ing h*ll) in General Writing

Yeah those massive paragrahs, no line breaks with dialogue stiched inbetween makes for a hard slog for the reader. It's like dishing out slop to...

4 replies | 103 view(s)

Yesterday, 11:38 PM

Delta40 replied to a thread Last sex with A. in two lines in Personal Poetry

Well get the mop and bucket and clean that flaw....

5 replies | 138 view(s)

Yesterday, 11:37 PM

Delta40 replied to a thread The Dream in Personal Poetry

I love the potential of this piece Lykren. I was hoping to link the dawn of silence, stepping and stepping into the world in the same silent way...

1 replies | 77 view(s)

Yesterday, 07:36 PM

Delta40 started a thread Poverty Hindsight in Personal Poetry

As the musky scent of incense burns away, I wander from room to icy room filled with a fragrant sense that riches must be found under our...

2 replies | 106 view(s)

Yesterday, 05:12 PM

Delta40 replied to a thread This velvet glove in Personal Poetry

This is better than your last submission. It's probably more taste than anything else as this is not my kind of poetry Jett but it's definitely...

4 replies | 152 view(s)

Yesterday, 12:52 PM

hillwalker replied to a thread Godslayer's Final Kill in Short Story Sharing

Hi Grit, I'm not a fan of fantasy fiction etc. so I'm not the best person to be critting this. But I'll comment as I read through anyway. Very...

8 replies | 315 view(s)

Yesterday, 08:47 AM

Delta40 replied to a thread Regret in Personal Poetry

and yore rimes we must endure...

7 replies | 238 view(s)

Yesterday, 07:18 AM

Delta40 replied to a thread Regret in Personal Poetry

get rid of 'the' L4 S2, 'been' L2 S4

7 replies | 238 view(s)

Yesterday, 05:02 AM

Delta40 replied to a thread Paris and rain and a candlelight dinner in Personal Poetry

mwah!

9 replies | 292 view(s)

Yesterday, 02:57 AM

DieterM replied to a thread Paris and rain and a candlelight dinner in Personal Poetry

Paris and rain and a candlelight dinner where I pretend to listen. Everything feels like plastic except the perfectly iced bottle of “Cristal”....

9 replies | 292 view(s)

Yesterday, 02:50 AM

DieterM replied to a thread Paris and rain and a candlelight dinner in Personal Poetry

thank you all for commenting and showing a great deal of imagination (especially cacian and cafolini whith their greatly appreciated French verses;...

9 replies | 292 view(s)

05-21-2013, 06:35 PM

Delta40 replied to a thread true best in Personal Poetry

My pleasure.

4 replies | 207 view(s)

05-21-2013, 06:33 PM

Delta40 replied to a thread Devil's Bride. in Personal Poetry

Some of your sentence structures have been dominated by rhyme as they are forced. An example of this is: As he stopped and his eyes on me cast....

3 replies | 163 view(s)

05-21-2013, 06:22 PM

Delta40 replied to a thread Paris and rain and a candlelight dinner in Personal Poetry

I loved S3 Dieter. Although the use of two 'outs' so closely together makes me think the expression could be written more smoothly.

9 replies | 292 view(s)

05-21-2013, 06:00 PM

Delta40 replied to a thread Playwriting in Personal Poetry

Thank you everyone.

7 replies | 220 view(s)

05-21-2013, 03:41 PM

hillwalker replied to a thread Fate Was A Daughter. in Personal Poetry

I got as far as the second line and gave up. Poetry - not even close. On a different note - why are all your posts in bold. The font doesn't make...

7 replies | 265 view(s)

05-21-2013, 03:36 PM

hillwalker replied to a thread Can I suggest an addition to the "Please read before posting" sticky? in Short Story Sharing

At last - something the mods should have done eons ago. H

1 replies | 201 view(s)

05-21-2013, 03:35 PM

hillwalker replied to a thread Blue Eyes By Candlelight. in Short Story Sharing

Decent enough post - but it reads like a cross between a journal entry and a love letter to your date. Not sure what the rest of us are meant to get...

3 replies | 259 view(s)

05-21-2013, 10:55 AM

hillwalker replied to a thread Untitled Composition 27 in Short Story Sharing

It gets better as it unravels. I like the laid-back, cut to the bare bones style. It suits the subject matter and you do it so well. Pt 2 when...

3 replies | 223 view(s)

05-21-2013, 10:49 AM

hillwalker replied to a thread Playwriting in Personal Poetry

Good see you're doing it at last. H

7 replies | 220 view(s)

05-21-2013, 10:47 AM

hillwalker replied to a thread The Dragon in Short Story Sharing

Not bad for a drunken scribble - though it looks rather too polished (despite the typos) for true stream of consciousness writing. The plot is...

1 replies | 123 view(s)

05-21-2013, 10:36 AM

hillwalker replied to a thread Summer Of Love. in Short Story Sharing

This really captured the time - as well as the gawky feelings of adolescent love without being cheesy. There was obviously a huge neon sign half...

10 replies | 320 view(s)

05-21-2013, 08:33 AM

hillwalker posted a visitor message on Jerrybaldy's profile

Hehe - there's also the other side of the coin. How many 'drive-by' writers never came back after their first post because they didn't appreciate a...

05-21-2013, 08:29 AM

DieterM started a thread Paris and rain and a candlelight dinner in Personal Poetry

Paris and rain and a candlelight dinner where I pretend to listen. Everything feels like plastic except the perfectly iced bottle of “Cristal”....

9 replies | 292 view(s)

05-21-2013, 07:43 AM

DieterM replied to a thread Reverie in Personal Poetry

thanks to both of you for commenting (commenting again, in Hawk's case). I do feel rusty, indeed, and will let this piece rest for a while before...

5 replies | 207 view(s)

05-21-2013, 07:42 AM

DieterM replied to a thread Playwriting in Personal Poetry

You just took me there, Delta, there where you found that land of vineyards by the river, and you not only made me watch but feel the closing scene....

7 replies | 220 view(s)

05-21-2013, 04:37 AM

Delta40 replied to a thread true best in Personal Poetry

...and yet you manage to capture the absolute shallowness of your skill beautifully here. Congratulations - this is your true best!

4 replies | 207 view(s)

05-20-2013, 06:20 PM

Delta40 replied to a thread walking with dog and Biggus. in Personal Poetry

scary blue. Says it all...

6 replies | 253 view(s)