157 Visitor Messages

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    You mean somone who is crazy at a wedding? I really don't know s***t about weddings but i will try. lol
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    I want to have a challenge with u. You and i will right a story about something. Each of us choose what each other write about. Like I want you to write about.hmmm...
    this will be a suprise...

    A combat seen. Whatever time period. I want you to message my as soon as you get this and tell me what you want me to do.
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    I just wrote a piece called two days till freedom, a very short story i thought about when we were learning about hitlers wrath. Only it takes place in some other eastern country. I don't know where though.lol. Oh and there is no jew killing i swear!
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    well i... i believe it is a really beautiful piece of writing. the first sentence is very good. what i liked the most is the fact that the aspects of the boy's character and life are revealed little by little throughout the story, while the reader is left to reach to his own conclusions, which might prove to be wrong in the process.
    you know at first, i had the feeling that this story contained a part of your own story, of your own feelings and attitude. the warmth in his words is hard to be achieved out of mere creativity. i believe that in such occasions, the author is revealing some of his own feelings. i still have the very same feeling, though i do not know if that is true or not. but anyway, i should just stick to the story.
    as i was saying, i like the way the character is revealed. really smart that you don't mention what is it that has 'to be fixed'. and at first i had the impression that it had to do about an immature young person, full of self-destruction and completely lost(a conclusion proved to be wrong of course...)
    and there comes the 2nd paragraph. a wounded aspect is revealed that touched the softer side of me. and it was then that i started to understand what was going on and feel sympathy for this young person. i understood why he had no reason to do anything.
    then, in the next 2 paragraphs you continued to add pieces to the puzzle of his story. i saw a really romantic, good-hearted person, someone mature. a person determined to put his own needs aside. someone ready to get hurt so that his loved-one could continue with her life and be happy even without him. even if that meant that his own world would collapse and he would be forced to live among the debris of his life until he found the determination, the will, the strength to move the rocks away, to stand up and rebirth. find his ego again, become a part of his own life again. i suddenly came accross to the grandeur of a person that is hard to find nowadays.
    he just wants her to be happy. not with him. with anyone that can make her happy. the whole monologue, all of his thoughts focuse on her existence. even when in the last paragraphs he says that he has to do something with his life and finally seems a little determined, like all this thought bare fruit after all and helped him reach to a decision useful to his own self...the motivation comes out to be related to her again: the world SHE lives in will be better.
    so he will make an attempt. he wants to do something. and he seems to be open to the idea of falling in love again, although he knows it is all in vain. for he knows that his heart belongs to her, and he can do nothing about that. and he might not want to give it to anyone else afer all.
    a character so down-to-earth but so etherial and with so big and bright wings. living among the sinners and the selfish and still being full of grace...
    i believe you have understood what i think of your story, considering what(oh god! i guess i have written too much after all!) i have written.
    i hope to read something from you again soon.thank you, it was a pleasurre.mary
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    hey, will u look at my most recent story and tell me what u think? thx
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    martydom=great! continue the great work. You may have noticed that I write alot about violence. I'm not wierd, i'm just into action and drama and fire. Guess my name says it all. I just found this website. and i also just started writing. i have about 2 days of experience. I take no writing classes. its good to know someone enjoyes my work. its also good to have a friend. maybe you and i could help each other and review each others work!lol
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    thx for telling me. but i really was super bored and wasnt thinking strai twhen i wrote that. have you checked out my other story?
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About TheInsomniac

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April 17, 1991 (27)
About TheInsomniac
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I grew up all over the world, mainly asia and europe. Live in australia, i am half australian and half french. And i'm crazy to a perfect degree ^_^
In the closet with the skeletons.
Trekking across the globe, writing, computers, knowledge, imagination and drinking.
Motivating others to accomplish things.


'A bird may love a fish signore, but where would they live?'

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.


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Futile Fury - Short Story

by TheInsomniac on 11-05-2008 at 08:41 PM
Futile Fury

I loved her; I couldn’t let this other guy get in her way. So what did I do? I did what I had to do, what I would still do. These days I’m different, my temper grows shorter by the day, envy for what I do not possess. For what I do not deserve.

I leaped at him like a raging tiger, fists of fury. Within minutes his friends came to his aid. I had never been in this situation before, although I’d seen how they do it on television. I looked for a corner, somewhere

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