Halls of the Dark Muse

As some of you may know I tend to be a private person, and so I usually do not publicly talk a great deal about the mores personal aspects of my life. But now and then I will feel the need to vent about something.

First here is a bit or a recap to get everyone up to speed and which will probably make my life sound like some kind of Soap Opera or something. You may recall from previous things I have mentioned here, as well as from some of my writings that I had been involved in a long distance relationship with someone. Well last year we parted ways, and well it was for reasons that are personally just between the two of us, so I did not feel like discussing it. But we bore each other no ill will and agreed to remain friends, and we irregularly kept in touch.

In the meanwhile during this time of our separation I happened to become good friends with an individual who will be known as David. He seemed really cool, and nice, and we got along quite well, but for the record, I only ever saw him as a friend. For various reasons I did not have in inclination to pursuing a relationships beyond friendship with him. Though I am aware that he harbored certain feelings for me, he also knew that I just saw him as a friend and we were able to maintain a good friendship with each other.

He lives in Dallas but he comes out to CA a lot on business, and in fact he was here in March, and we made arrangements to get together, though incidentally my sister was also here at the same time he was, so we did not have a lot of time together, but we had a very nice visit which each other that was also perfectly platonic.

And he told me that he would be here again in mid-May (of which it just about is now) and we were going to make arrangements to see each other again, and hopefully have more time to spend together.

Now in the meantime I receive and email from my ex, telling me he has been thinking about me, and really wants to talk to me, so I respond and we talk, and he really wants to work things out again, and during the time of our separation from each other, we have maintained very strong feelings for each other, so we had a very serious conversation, and he really wants to work things out, try and fix some of the problems we had the first time and make things work, and I would really like that as well, so we have been in regular communication with each other since then and getting to know each other a lot better then we did the first time around.

David was aware of some of my history with the relationship, and so I told him about my ex getting in touch with me, and the two of us wanting to work things out. So David started really grilling me about my choice to get back together with my ex. Now to one extent I cannot entirely blame him, because even though my ex and I parted on favorable terms, people rarely offer very flattering pictures of their exes and obviously things were not perfect or we would not have broken up so during the period of the serration I did tend to focus on some of the more negative aspects of the relationship. Taking responsibility for some of the things I said about my ex, and our relationship before our reconciliation I can understand David as a friend having certain concerns but he was starting to get a bit heavy handed with it, to the point where I was getting annoyed, because ultimately it is my own choice to make and to do as I feel is best, and I did in a nice way express this to him.

Since all of that, I have barely had a word with David throughout the majority of this month. So no I do not even know if he still plans on coming out here this month, if we are still on to see each other, if he still wants to get together. In a couple of brief conversations we have had he said that work had been killing him lately. I don't know if he really has just been busy this month, or if even though he knew I was not inclined to perusing a relationship with him, now that I am in fact getting back with my ex, he is simply choosing to avoid me.