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Foxtrot's Theories

I am a Javelin - Extended Metaphor.

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Maxi told me that, through some intelligent jargon, Frances something-like-probably means javelin. In this case I'm a wooden javeling used by some sort of primitive tribe.

I am a javelin.
I can be thrown in attack and defence.
I am deadly, but I'll save your life.
People run with me and from me.
I'm feared but loved.

Used time and time again.
The ultimate battle weapon.
I hurt, but it depends where I am.
I can ensnare every sense in one blow,
or I can wipe them all out.

I am invincible,
but I snap like a twig.
I can be burnt,
though I created the fire.
I need the water.

I'm in a bunch of others,
not very different.
Markings, lines and damage,
so that makes me my own.
I'll shed their blood if I need to.

To you I'm a part of a game,
the longer distance wins.
Does it make you the champion,
I do the hard work.
I am a javelin.

Updated 02-26-2010 at 09:41 PM by Heathcliff

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Comments

  1. Heathcliff's Avatar
    Not bad. This is the second extended metaphor I've ever written.

    The other is here:
    http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=9820

    I like the first better, but this only took a few minutes, so it sn't bad.
  2. Maximilianus's Avatar
    Very good

    These two lines are an accurate depiction of a javelin's effect:
    "I can ensnare every sense in one blow,
    or I can wipe them all out."
  3. Heathcliff's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Maximilianus
    "I can ensnare every sense in one blow,
    or I can wipe them all out."
    Eheheh. I likey those two lines, my favourite.
    Thank you Maxi.
  4. Virgil's Avatar
    Hey, now you're getting sophisticated in your writing. :thumb: There's some really good lines in here. And while i can't say the theme is all that profound, your use of the sentence and line is very poetic. Poetry doesn't have to have that song lyric rhyming and metric to be poetic. Understand what I mean?
  5. Maximilianus's Avatar
    Mhm, I agree with Virgil. It's poetic even without metrics and rhyme patterns
  6. Heathcliff's Avatar
    Yea, yea, you guys are right.
    I do like to rhyme, it makes it feel boppy and happier, or at least the way I read it.
    Poems that don't rhyme are good though, providing the content is of value.
    I wrote a lot of those in a notebook I had once, only I don't know where it is now. I must find it...
    Thank you guys!!
  7. Maximilianus's Avatar
    Try to find it, so we have more to read