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Foxtrot's Theories

Weird thing for flowers.

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"Crunchy, rubbery and bitter, why did my dad just eat a leaf?"
Okay, I supose that won't go down in history, but it does point out that my dad just ate a leaf off the little bonsai tree he has. Totally random. Just downright weird.
Only now I'm tempted to try it, just as I'm curious...
I ate a flower for that reason. I felt bad afterwards because it was really pretty.

I don't like receiving flowers. They are useless and they die after a day. Of course, I like living plants, but they don't exactly go into a boquet. So I don't like flowers. They go on gravestones. People can bring me flowers then, at the moment they are too much a nuisance. Pretty much the same outlook my mum has. They are pretty, sometimes, but an egg with a smiley-face drawn on it is equally adorable. I don't like they way they smell.

I remember, I would've been three-ish, I was in the back yard and we had a lot of little yellow flowers. I was always told that bees get honey from flowers. So, naturally, being a little kid, I wanted honey. I picked a flower, observing the stem and the petals. I was sure it was neither of those, seeing as they weren't runny. I pulled the top of the flower off and found a liquid. That must've been the honey, even though it was white and thin, so I put some on my finger and ate it. Then I went into the house and told Mum that she lied to me. Nobody ever told me what that sappy stuff was.

When I was a lot younger in primary school, one of the big kids was handing out flowers and he gave me one. As much as I hate flowers for their dust-collecting, supposed-to-be gravestone dwelling properties, I liked it. So I hid it so nobody could take it from me. At the end of grade six I pulled a lump of mush out of my schoolbag and cried because I hurt the pretty flower.

And that is my life with flowers thus far.
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Comments

  1. skib's Avatar
    Great blog Heathcliff! You've got to be one of the rare women that doesn't like flowers!
  2. Dark Muse's Avatar
    I totally agree with you about flowers. I never see the point of fresh cut flowers, it is like oh how nice, something is going to die just so it can be a tempoary decoration.
  3. JuniperWoolf's Avatar
    Haha, aww, that's so adorable. I especially like the part where you tried to extract raw honey from flowers.
  4. Maryd.'s Avatar
    Well, you had your old maama in fits... That's funny girl.
    And Skib I don't like flowers much either. I love red roses, but to stay on the plants they are grown on. Plants are good though.
  5. Heathcliff's Avatar
    I like the ones that are intact as well.
    I like yellow roses, but not the colour yellow.
    Thanks you guys.
    I was only little when I tried to get the honey out. I thought if a bee can do it, then why can't I?
  6. Virgil's Avatar
    What do you mean they die after a day? The white roses i got for my wife for Valentine's day are doing great and it's almost a week. Flowers brighten up a room.
  7. Maryd.'s Avatar
    Hey Virg, your wife is a lucky woman... And a week hey... Well done.
  8. Heathcliff's Avatar
    A week? Kewl.
    Wait until next week.

    They are pretty. I like plants in a room, they make it nice. I like them living.
    we have four of them randomly around our general living area.
  9. Virgil's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Maryd.
    Hey Virg, your wife is a lucky woman... And a week hey... Well done.
    Thanks. They turned into the most beautiful set of flowers I have ever bought. I took pictures and IU should post them. I will after I upload my camera.
  10. Virgil's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Heathcliff
    A week? Kewl.
    Wait until next week.

    They are pretty. I like plants in a room, they make it nice. I like them living.
    we have four of them randomly around our general living area.
    Heathcliff, I guess there are a few secrets to making them last longer. When you buy them, buy ones that have not opened up yet. The ones that are openned may look prettier at the moment, but they are further along. Second, use the little plant food packet that they give you. At least around here they usually provide a little food packet to put in the water. Third, trim the bottoms of the stems, so they can absorb water better. And fourth, put ice cubes in the water and put ice cubes in every day.
  11. Heathcliff's Avatar
    Ahh, Virgil. Your Mrs. Is a very lucky woman. Especially that you actually know this stuff.
    Most accesible place for us to get flowers is the supermarket. They are already opened up. No food comes with them. They die by the time we get home. Then again, due to the lack of a florist due to the lack of anyone around here willing to spend any money there, the supermarket or the cemetary is the only place to go.
  12. qimissung's Avatar
    Then plant them you must. Once a number of years ago, I believe it was in the spring, I had a tiny adorable little classroom with a door that led onto a small patch of grass and a rose bush. We went outside for part of a class period and later I noticed one of the girls had picked a rose and was methodically eating it, petal by petal. I assume she enjoyed it.
  13. qimissung's Avatar
    Hey, your page looks pretty. I like what you've done with it.
  14. IJustMadeThatUp's Avatar
    I totally agree Heathcliff. I'm not a huge fan of flowers to start with, but I liken somebody giving me cut flowers to giving me a dying puppy. Plants are much more practical as a gift and can last forever.
  15. Heathcliff's Avatar
    Thanks Quimi

    Yea I guess. Only thing is, if you won't be able to take care of a plant, you wouldn't appreciate it as a gift.
    Like if someone gives you a puppy and you have nowhere to put it.