Be Sure Your Sins Will Find You Out
by, 08-05-2009 at 02:30 AM (1848 Views)
Had this entry been written even a day earlier it would have been a different animal altogether.
The problem with dealing with grown children is your loss of authority over them. I have had the interesting experience of meeting some children that are STILL submissive to their parents even into their 40s but these are a rare and strange (to me) creature more to be pitied then emulated. In each case that I have met with the parents were entirely worthy of the respect and honor rendered but I always found the knots in the apron strings troubling. I prefer mine to be able to survive without me and they seem quite capable of such a life style however damaging a blow to the ego that is. Sigh.
I am in no doubt whatever that in the case of my first and ex-daughter-in-law Gina affectionately known to me forever as the Devil Child that the second worst thing that will ever happen to her will be the loss of her mother at a future time unknown because she is the only person left who will continue to forgive her constant betrayals and sabatages of her life all in the name of letting her have her way. The worst thing that happens to Gina is when she DOESN'T get her way -- which to me is a very disturbing and clear evidence that God has abandoned her to her fate. Beware when life goes smoothly--it means God is finished with you and your doom lies ahead.
Now in my daughter Sandy and son-in-law Michael's case they have a leisurely attitude towards drinking. While not at all liking the concept I was in ignorance of how dedicated to the fruit of the hops and vine they were until the other nght when the Long Suffering One comes out from the bedroom to relate some news she was reading on my daughter's Myspace page.
For the record I do not read Myspace pages. There is a certain person I am aware of that has a page and I decided about two years ago that door is closed forever and I needed to move on. It also occured to me that there are at least four others it is probably best I never see anymore as well as the past is the past and let it be. So to avoid that temptation to go down memory lane and court further disasters all in the name of redeeming the day of evil best to let sleeping dogs (or dragons--Avengers fans will get the reference) lie.
However my kids have their pages and I pay them the same compliments by not reading them as they pay this blog which is why I can bash away to my hearts delight with no repercussions to dread. Kids--the will is out of date--grab the comics while you can. There--that's your warning.
Now you have to understand that when the kids visit in our area they are driving at least 35-40 miles one way. Also any sentence that starts with "Michael's brother called and wants--" will have unhappy consequences. Doesn't matter which brother it might be they all have that effect on him. While this demonstrates Michael's family loyalities it also displays his gullibility to be played the fool. Worse when you consdier that these brothers (and sisters) were all part of an adoption facotry his adopted mother was running. I think she's out of jail by now--not sure. Long story and I have only pieces of that and never cared anyway. My mother could learn a trick or two from her that much I gathered.
Anyhoooooo short version. Michael, Sandy (with little Ron) go to a delightful place called Enon Beach approximately 10 miles from our place. I have never been there. If I care to go check out the Clark County drug and alcohol and sex scene that utopia will near the top of my list of stopovers though. It's basially a camp site on the cheap by a river. I'm for the first time ever seriously considering seeing the scene of so much drama and turmoil and interruption of my happy existence. All about me all about me--when has that changed--stop looking at me that way. I don't make you read this stuff. You all just want to know if Logos has phoned yet. (She hasn't.) For some reason AndaveYa is surprised by that but in some ways Logos knows me better.
Now I was starting to watch That 70's Show so that makes it around 12:30 when my supper is ruined and my TV gets turned off so I can pretend to care and pontificate awhile.
Michael's brother and some acquaintances were have a party and the beer was flowing. Freely. When I really want to annoy son Dan and irritate Sandy I point out to him that Sandy has a better capacity for alcohol for he. Neither child seems to pick up on the concept that there are better things to brag about your daughter. By the end of the evening police have ben called out for disturbing of the peace. Must have quite a bash to get that attention out there. Little Ron is fast asleep in the back of the van while both my pride and joys are undergoing scrunity as to their being wasted. At least that's what being said. What Michael adds to this mess is that he thinks my daughter may have bene molested sometime during the evening. Or so Sandy seems to think as my Ruth gets an e-mail from son Jim asking what is up with all this.
My initial reactions to this sorry state of affairs mostly centered around their being drunk and having Ron with them. They stayed the night out there so they drive back sober. Small comfort to my mind. Not overly impressed with this splendid degree of child care and appropriate parenting skills. Also furious about their lack of concern about beign drunk. I have many sins to account for (my nature is decidedly focused on other aspects of the flesh) but I can affirrm that I have never been drunk. I think the most alcohol I ever consumed was half a bottle of beer weel over 40 years ago. Thank God for taste buds not liking alcohol.
I fume for a bit feeling no sense of sympathy. Ruth is alrady planning names for the out of wedlock child while I assure her that HER Drama Queen is an idiot and mine is bored already. Since obviously Michael hasn't killed anyone the sense of dishonor to my daughter was probably more inmagnined then real. Besides as Ruth points out Sandy is 24, Micahel 25 and we can't tell them how to live.
I can however make threats. Also in such a way that they won't be able to figure out if I'm bluffing or not. Two magic words designed to strike fear in the hearts of any parent that have a shred of desire towards their offspring.
But before I get to that I rant just a bit more, geto bored and go back to my life.
Next afternoon I decide how to approach the wayward daughter. Ranting was for my wife's sake--it hardly ever worked with my kids so I try the offbeat approach. Satire and ridicule. It will be remebred long after a yell/chewout session.
Sandy picks up the phone and I jump right in with the the announcement that I have been busy all morning going around the county wriitng on bathroom walls "For a good with Michael call ---- ----" So let me how the phone mesages work out shoukd be getting some calls any time now. Love you.
Then I ask her if she has learned anything from over indulging alcohol and interpersonal relationships. She seems contrite and the call ends well.
Til that night.
When I get home from work and I am attempting to watch the Man from U.N.C.L.E. season 1 DVD (the best of the four seasons) when now it's Michael on the phone.
He's gotten it into his head that Sandy is fooling around and has done it before. He wants to know what I advise as Ruth looks my way holding the phone waiting for the words of wisdom and reconciliation.
With absolutely NO hesitation I tell her to tell Michael either divorce her or forgive her. Simple as that. I'm hoping this dash of cold water might bring a dare we say it--a sobering effect to hot passions.
Ruth is not heartened by this but I prefer cutting to the chase or I'll never get to watch TV.
The evidence is skimpy, circumstanial and would give a divore lawyer a challenge looking for substance. In some ways Michael is worst Drama Queen then I. I take the FACTS and extrapolate to their dismal conclusion. He takes the appearance of evil and jumps to doomsday in a quantum leap. He's already planning to ship the daughter back home to us.
The grizzley lets out a warning growl and puts a firm--very firm stop to that little plan.
Hiding behind my rental agreement for starters. The next is my very very passionate belief that separation generally tends to make it harder to get back together. It postpones dealing with the problems all the while as you adjust to being single again.
Mike hangs up eventually as I assure him he needs to TALK to his wife and be more open about stuff and find out what is really going on in their lives. I honestly had no idea things were in that sort of shape. Interesting times indeed.
As of today they spent some time talking and we shall see. I would be disappopinted if the marriage ended but the sun is going to come up tomorrow and we shall see.
The best thing I do is call Mary Sue and enlist her prayer support and give her just a bit of background in the family Mtpspur to make things a little easier to understand as to why I am the way I am etc etc. Right now she's the favorite (honorary) daughter.
But I love them anyway and God is still good.