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When I was in fourth grade there was this little kid who attended my daycare. Her name was Chelsea. She also lived in the same townhouse development I did. Every once in a while her bratty dog would come over and do his sensitive business on our little yard and this made me so upset, because I was really proud of the patch of grass we had. So I refused to play with her. For some reason I still can't figure she always was hanging around me and trying to do everything I did. But I wouldn't play with her because of her stupid dog, it was getting my yard all discolored and the grass was coming up splotchy. Her mother got upset at this, I honest to God don't know why, I mean I wouldn't want my kid hanging out with somebody who wanted to pelt her with Legos--and she tried to confront my mom in the daycare parking lot, asking why I wouldn't pay attention to her daughter. Mom shrugged it off. I complained to Dad about the bother and he told me (when Mom wasn't around) that next time Chelsea annoyed me, to ask her 'if that was her face or did her butt have teeth.' A few days later the kids were standing in line to visit the swimming pool and little Chelsea started up again, pestering me. I stepped back and said, “Is that your face or does your butt have teeth?” It was the only time I ever shocked anybody into silence because we were fourth graders and thought lines like “I'm rubber and you're glue” were just the greatest comebacks ever.

The daycare teachers overheard and had to turn away because they were laughing, but they still had to call my parents in later. I was mad because they said I was in trouble because I stepped out of line and I knew that wasn't why, it made me so indignant that they wouldn't just come out and say it. My mother was horrified and just kept asking, “but where could she have heard that from? Where did she learn to say something like that?” She was well and truly aghast. Dad had a sober expression and because he never keeps a straight face she turned to him and said “It was you wasn't it.”

This memory is one of my favorites as Dad got into trouble and I didn't get into any.


  1. Sarasvati21's Avatar
  2. Virgil's Avatar
    Oh Higley, I can't imagine you saying that. Very funny.
  3. pussnboots's Avatar
    I'll have to remember that line, too funny!!!
  4. motherhubbard's Avatar
    I love that story. very funny
  5. higley's Avatar
    Thanks guys. Now you know what to say to somebody when they annoy you.
  6. andave_ya's Avatar
  7. Buh4Bee's Avatar
    Awesome story! Got to hand that one down!