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just mercedes

wheatfield with crows II (villanelle)

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black crows call me from sentient sky
ripe wheat awaits the autumn blade
to live forever, first I must die

hues of bright immortality lie
in sunshine mortals never made
black crows call me from sentient sky

loving you is a treacherous tie
that binds me fast in sacred glade
to live forever, first I must die

madness lies in your soft velvet sigh
like siren, singing from the shade
black crows call me from sentient sky

deaf to daybreak, I’ll pluck out an eye
if frenzy helps this torture fade
to live forever, first I must die

withered passions pulsate and pass by
earth will receive me undismayed
black crows call me from sentient sky
to live forever, first I must die
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Comments

  1. Red-Headed's Avatar
    Yeah, excellent. These are so hard to do well. Dylan Thomas has a lot to answer for!

  2. Virgil's Avatar
    This is excellent Merecedes! You picked very good lines to repeat and the selection of "to live forever, first I must die" is perfect. I'm impressed. [Quick note: I'm not crazy about the "pluck out an eye" line. It doesn't fit for me, but then it's your poem.]
  3. qimissung's Avatar
    Yes, I concur. This is excellent. I notice you actually repeat two lines, "black crows call me from a sentient sky" as well as "to live forever, first I must die." Good choices. They give a rather gloomy air of foreboding that suits the subject.