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"Amor a Primera Vista" (4)

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So, this is part 4 out of a possible 6 parts. Apologies, as it's most likely riddled with mistakes - but it is(was) 2.35am.

He would leave the next day. I can't say I was fazed much by this prospect; if anything, it was quite a relief... like a heavy weight lifted from my conscience. Despite remaining so decided that the next 24 hours would pass with no emotional complications, the eve prior to his departure was still strange to me - I just couldn't identify this change in atmosphere.

It was arranged that we would spend the entire evening in eachother's company, savouring the little time we had left. First stop was the marina, where we sat together side by side, arms touching. Here, we "made photos" as he called it; I never corrected him once - it was too charming. In spite of his efforts, he did not appear to be smiling on any of them. He didn't look miserable, however. There was something so profound about the shape of his mouth and the look in his eyes. It was as though he was studying something with great care, whilst trying to extract a meaning, provoke a response.

I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but something in him had altered. Between conversations, the silences were no longer relaxed; they were filled with a desperate emptiness and I could no longer embrace them. The both of us skirted around the subject of his return home with false smiles and laughter. I looked at him, and we developed some sort of mutual understanding - it was going to be hard. The only difference was, I would be able to rid myself of the feeling with great ease once he'd gone.

Slowly wandering back to the resort, the beach was almost empty, and therefore even more beautiful than ever. The hour we spent there was not an hour at all. You see, when and I were on that beach, time didn't exist, the world outside was invisible, and we were free.

Laid back onto the rocks with our minds in a daze and our hearts intact, I suddenly understood the meaning of the word numinous. The sky was bursting with a myriad of colours; the sea cleansed away fears that had plagued my mind for so long as it washed up onto the shore; our fingers intertwined, locked together by a ghostly power.
At that moment, I knew.
I was falling for him. I don't know if it was love, but it was something.

It was the most spectacular moment in my life, and at the same time, one of my greatest downfalls. Once I knew, I wanted to tell him. I wanted to kiss him and tell him - tell him over and over again.
But I didn't. Why?
The illusionary dome that had maintained my paradise which was void of time disappeared, and those anxieties filled my mind once again.

It was time to head back, and after writing our names in the sand, we returned to the hotel. I planned to kiss him later that evening; that seemed inevitable to me, and I didn't mind at all. I was so elated, and slightly delirious, that I didn't even consider what lay ahead the next day.

Updated 11-16-2008 at 05:37 PM by LadyW

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Comments

  1. downing's Avatar
    Oh my god....it's so beautiful... such things really happen in reality? It's like a film...better than a film... a book ... I am sooooo .... don't know what to say!!!
  2. LadyW's Avatar
    I honestly am quite overwhelmed by your comments; thank you so much.
    I would imagine that such things do happen in reality, unbelievable as it is.