by, 03-20-2007 at 11:31 PM (2442 Views)
"I do not understand what I do.These verses pretty much sum up my current state. I keep doing things I don't want to do. Not really evil things, just things that are stupid, immature, a waste of time. Things that don't really fit in with my ideals. And I procrastinate like crazy with the things that I want to do.
For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate, I do.
For what I do is not the good I want to do;
no, the evil I do not want to do --this I keep on doing."
I find I don't really like myself. I don't approve of my lifestyle. If I was someone else and I met myself, I probably wouldn't want to hang out with me. Is this normal? I have such lofty and noble ideals, dreams, goals, principles. Why can I not live up to them? Every night I think, "tomorrow will be different." But it never is.