Not exactly :)
by, 02-16-2008 at 06:15 PM (1505 Views)
My host family here and I get along, generally. Certainly I'm not as nuts about them as I am about my family back in the United States. But 5 months after I became their new "figlia", I still fight with my mom about one thing or another several times a week. I'm not a very responsible person, and my casa here seems to have rules about everything, which I always end up forgetting, or generally doing something wrong. It's really tiring! Plus, I always feel like my mom is mad or disappointed in me about something/everything. She is always busy and tired, and I feel like apart from everything us I'm just another weight - she's a single mom taking care of now-three kids, a dog, and aging parents all on her own. When she doesn't have as much to do and is more relaxed, we get along; she has more patience and we can joke together. But the times when she's relaxed are pretty rare. In general, we're just very different personalities. And I still feel like this family laughs so rarely!
But, on the other hand, my family has done everything that they can for me, including inviting me along when they go out, taking me to other parts of the country which I doubt they would have visited otherwise, and I think generally trying, in their way, to make me feel at home. I've discussed this with my host mamma, and she's basically left it up to me. I know that a lot of the problem is me - that I can't remember the things that would make her not-mad at me, that I seem to tune people out after I think I know everything they're going to say and don't say when I don't understand; that basically I'm maybe not the sort of person who should have chosen to go on an exchange program.
So: do I tell them that I just don't think it's working - that I think it would be better off with another family, and take my chances with that, hoping that it will also make things easier for my mamma here - or do I stick it out and deal with things as they are?