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Shannanigan's Search for More...

Abandon Inhinibtion!

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I....I....I'm not sure anymore.

I've come to the realization that all great works I have studied have been written by people who held nothing back in their writing; people who let it ALL out, told the world how it really was when everyone else was scared to do so.

In my quest to be a great writer, I believe that I need to embrace that quality as well. I think that at a time, I was more than willing. In fact, I think that at a time, I HAD embraced that quality...but I think that time has passed. Now that I look ahead at student teaching, I think to myself, there are just some things that a teacher needs to hold back, some things that students just should not know about their teacher.

I've been thinking of writing under a pen name. How long would that last, and would that go against everything I've ever stood for: being proud to be who you are?

I am not ashamed of myself or anything I do, I'm just having a hard time imagining people hiring me as a teacher if I were publishing the kind of things I want to publish. You would think I would WANT to work somewhere with people who embrace/accept who I am, what I do, and what I write about...but...it just won't happen here, and for now, here is where I want to be...I guess...

maybe I don't...

maybe I need time to think...
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  1. mtpspur's Avatar
    Unfortunately you are in a career path where everything abut you is scrutinized past the point of decency. Lord help it if the poor teacher falls from the pedestal and exposes the feet of clay. While there is an awesome responsibility of teacher to pupil there is also the responsibility to be true. Some schools can look past what you write about--others can't and guarantee when you least expect there will be a parent out there sure to object to whatever they may find troubling. This will make or break you as far as your character goes. You would not be the first. Personally I'ld hope to see you publish what your heart/soul cried out within you. That way you can look yourself in the mirror without regret. I assure you that I have NOT lived this way and often wonder if it's idelaized or not and then the Holy Spirit whispers gently the names of one of two people ho trancended the bounds and rose to the occasion and I take some comfort that all men are not cowards to the opinions of others. Hope this helps. Rich
  2. Countess's Avatar
    I don't know, dear. It's a question that faces us all, but I maintain Shakespeare is right: to thine ownself be true. Follow the divine spark and you won't go wrong.
  3. andave_ya's Avatar
    I know what you mean about the quality of letting everything out to become a writer. I've marveled at it so many times myself without seeing anything but an inkling of it in myself. The seeming incongruency of a philologist like Tolkien writing Lord of the Rings, or an invalid Emily Dickinson writing her poems. In my fanfiction reading, I've come across a woman, Carolyn Golledge, who was a former teacher turned Lord of the Rings fanfic writer after she retired due to injury. Don't know if that encourages anything, though. Maybe (and I'm speaking as a high schooler/college student myself here) if you do tell it as it is, and your students read it, they'll respect you more. I don't know. Hope things work out for you. Andave.
  4. Shannanigan's Avatar
    Thank you, all...it is something I will have to ponder. Honestly, I've seriously thought about the fact that if I were to give it my all and put enough passion in to my work, I would have no need to worry about teaching because I would probably either be able to make a living off of writing or perhaps continue with my education and become a professor...but, in the meantime, I've decided to create a blog and let some of me leak out, though I retain the more controversial side of me. It's at

    inhibitedobservations.blogspot.com
  5. Captain Pike's Avatar
    I've never had any luck with anything that wasn't deeply rooted in my being. For me, that implies the first person point of view. You'll never guess what got me to thinking I could write in the first place... it was reading an old diary entry about some boo-hoo breakup I was going through. Pain, baby, has been the incubus of any growth I've had.

    Oh and, regarding fallout messing up your 9-to-5: consider the anonymity of a pen name.
  6. 's Avatar
    what do you wanna do? teach or write? pick one.