Exiled in a kilt

Personally, I trust people because I want to be trusted in return. I do believe in the good of other people, perhaps because I am optimistic that everyone has a sense of good within them. I have trusted people who have lied to me, once I came to the root of why the dishonesty happened and dealt with my emotions on the issue. I have trust in people because the world can be a lonely place and I don't want to be alone.

"Trust" is a lable for the emotion associated with expectation. When the expectation is fulfilled, the positive emotional impact bolsters the trust, ie: an expectation is created that the next expectation will be fulfilled. When the expectation is dashed, the negative emotional impact reduces the trust, ie: belief is diminished in the expectaion that the next expectation will be fulfilled.

To have no trust at all is therefore to have no emotion or investment in expectations being fulfilled. Said another way, no trust equals no expectations, no anticipations, no dreams about anything, no rewards or postivie emotional reinforcements, because nothing is ever fulfilled. This leads to the fatalistic acceptance of everything on the basis that everything "just happens" and that none of it can be planned or altered.

To have complete trust is therefore to be totally invested in the emotional anticipation of rewards and assumes (or conditions) that there will be no learning or memory of past failed expectations.

At the one extreme, one becomes so hardened that nothing can get through, including plans, dreams, successes, goals, hopes, or most important of all, relationships. At the other extreme, one becomes so vulnerable that one becomes dependant on circumstances, events, relationships, and any or all other external elements in order to feel fulfilled.

Trust, in and of itself, is neither good nor bad. This is true of all emotional responses. Anger, for example, in and of itself is neither good nor bad. Anger is a useful defensive tool, necessary for survival. Unrestrained however, it becomes a destructive force with negative reprocussions that outweigh its defensive value. Completely restrained, it leaves the individual unable to protect one's boundaries.

As long as one recognizes that trust, like every other emotion, must be balanced, one finds that trust is a useful tool. Unbalanced -- in either direction -- it becomes destructive. The goal, therefore, is to find the correct balance.

I trusted, and then that freedom was tarnished by people that did it just because I let them. They would never know only because some minds are running on ego. What a shame, because TRUST is a pure and beautiful thing. It's like falling without fear, letting go without judgement, believing and not questioned. No worries mate, no one can take the freedom of trust unless you allow them.

I have many mottos. One of them is "Trust no one" for good reason. First, everyone hurts everyone in one way or another. I have only one friend who hasn't hurt me too deeply - strangely enough, I met here here and though she is gone, we maintain contact - some 3 years now. Really, she's my only friend. Secondly, people are innately evil, and given the opportunity, will screw you in the *** to attain something they want for themselves. ie: people are exploitative and manipulative. Thirdly, people are unreliable. If you expect them to do anything - work, for instance - when they've displayed a sharp pattern against it - malingering for instance - you wil be disappointed. And if you need them, desperately need them to do a single thing for you (for instance, write a letter of recommendation for grad school), they will disappoint by forgetting - because to them, you're not really important.

I never expect anyone to uphold their duty or their promise and 90% of the time, I am correct. On one hand, I am so often right about people - who they are and how they will behave - that if I took pleasure in rubbing the truth in people's faces, I would be so freaking happy and delighted I wouldn't even be on this board. I'd be rubbing two people's noses in it right now. But the joy in being right always about everyone gets old. For once, I want to be wrong - desperately, horribly wrong. I want someone to show me for a big idiot and make good on their promise. I want someone to be struck with a sudden desire to work who has never before done any work (though they "work" at Walmart), and compete with me on "best performer" on the job.

In short, I want people to prove they really are good, but I believe in all my heart I will go to my grave bitterly and cynically correct and omniscient about the entire race.

I had a friend who told me, you just have to know what to trust people for. There are different degrees of trust. And you just have to know, in what ways you can trust certain people.

[QUOTE=;bt6190]Personally, I trust people because I want to be trusted in return. I do believe in the good of other people, perhaps because I am optimistic that everyone has a sense of good within them. I have trusted people who have lied to me, once I came to the root of why the dishonesty happened and dealt with my emotions on the issue. I have trust in people because the world can be a lonely place and I don't want to be alone.[/QUOTE]
I agree
Its important to trust others as you would also want to be trusted