Whine, whine, whine
by, 08-01-2007 at 07:58 AM (1440 Views)
I have a delima at my house. We are in a situation that has gone on for years. We know the solution, but neither my husband nor I will state it. Why? I think, no I know, I won't state the obvious because I will have to bare the blame. He won't state it because he doesn't want to feel the guilt and if I say it, he will be able to push the blame onto me. We both know that the situation is deadly to both our health and sanity. Our relationships with our children, grandchildren, and friends are damaged because of our inability to voice what needs to happen. It will even damage our marriage if it goes on. But we dance around the issue every day with both of us wanting the very same thing: peace and a place to relax when we are in our home.
I work very hard at my job. It's a physically demanding job with long hours and a lot of responsibilities. But it's good pay and I love the work that I do. He works very hard at a job that is emotionally and mentally demanding. He's very well respected in our area as well as in the state we live in. He does an outstanding job.
He is nearing the age when most men begin to plan retirement. We both know that when retirement time comes, he won't retire. Why? Because he'd go totally crazy with the situation at home if it is still the same. And there is the possibility that this could go on for years and years.
He loves to fish, but wouldn't be able to spend any time doing so. He loves to tie fishing flies and build fly rods, but would probably not have time to do much of either. And he would like to travel and that would absolutely not be allowed because it isn't now. His time, day and night, is demanded without relief. I would absolutely love to have my grandchildren come stay the night, play games, come and go as they please,run, yell, watch tv, and enjoy being with us. But that isn't allowed.
From the time we get off work for the week until we go back to work to start a new week, we are tied down more than we were when our children were little. Our days off are not together so we'll be able to handle the situation without help as much as possible.
Decisions need to be made and although I know we've come to the same decision, neither will voice it. I truely believe that the situation will outlive us both.