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Mrs E

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It never rains but it pours, right?

My best friend of 27 years is going through a difficult time right now. Her mother (Mrs E) has been having health problems since February and she is now receiving hospice care...and is not expected to live much longer. I have been hanging out with my friend babysitting and helping around the house as she doesn't get much support or help from her husband.

It's hard because of course I have known her mother for 27 years also....and she's a cool lady. I felt like such a jerk because we were sitting at the table and my friend showed me a picture of her mother and her aunt....and I started crying. My friend started to comfort me and of course that is not good. I am there to comfort her, not the other way around. But it's ok....she knows I care about her and her mum and I think just having me around was helpful even if most of what we did was sit at the table and gab.

So once again, dear LitNet friends....please excuse my frequent absences. Life is overwhelming for me right now, and I don't always have the strength to cope with even the minor things I am going through. My best wishes and thoughts to all of you.


  1. Virgil's Avatar
    That's ok Kathy. I understand exactly what that is like. It's always nice to hear from you when you can.
  2. mtpspur's Avatar
    Hey sometimes the person needing the comfort gets MORE comfort being a comforter and I'll bet your friend was uplifted by your sorrow and she is NOT alone in her pain. This was probably a good thing.
  3. Niamh's Avatar
    the most important thing about you crying, is that your friend will see how much you truely care for her and her mother. And sometimes when you try so hard to comfort someone, you bottle everything up. My heart is with you and your friend. Its a hard situation. Niamh
  4. applepie's Avatar
    Hi Kathy, don't feel as if you should be there only to comfort your friend. Share your pain and comfort one another. I agree with mtpspur in that sometimes the best comfort that you can give to a friend is allowing them to see that they are not alone in their grief.
  5. 's Avatar
    The most impotant thing is that you ARE there,beside her.And that she could reach out to u anytime.(i mean what could you do other than that).
  6. kathycf's Avatar
    Thanks everybody for your kind and supportive comments. I guess I am one of those caretaker people and often feel guilty when I need taking care of. But I agree, grief can be shared and it helps to do that.
  7. andave_ya's Avatar
    I'm sorry, kathy. That's harsh.