Imported Poems

***this still awaits revision and is not the finished version***

i have been thirsty-
i do not mean
like one in the desert;
that i could stand.

i have craved water
with it all around
holding my cup out under
rivers tumbling

cascading heavily
threatening
to drown
but my cup
remains empty i
cannot be cleansed

and the guilt remains
tattooed on my skin
brazen and ashamed
to be here
proclaiming
to the world
that even water
refuses me

relief in heat or in rain
revels in pain

i thought the winds
would heal the
water would cool
i was wrong

and i am not strong
enough to beg

i try to heal i want
to water my plants
to remember
my daughter
kicking, splashing

but the rainbows
are gone and
silver-gray
spangles instead
blind my eyes

is my cup is
too small
am i invisible

i just want to be
clean again.