Imported Poems

from the kitchen
i navigate
D stairs
to the bathroom,
and L more
from there
to my room

once upon a time
i was afraid of
falling - isn't that
every pregnant
woman's worst
nightmare?

but then i became
excited so i stopped
just counting stairs,
i wanted to
teach you
letters too

your 5 year-old
brother has already
borrowed my copy
of war and peace
i was sure you
two would have
lots to
talk about
discuss and play
and well,
i'd better teach
you how to read
because i knew from
the start you'd be
smarter than me

so i would travel D
plus L steps
n times a day
to and from weekly
doctor's visits
(to and from the toilet
where my back and
brain and stomach emptied
i don't think one part
of me wasn't throwing
up)

and i traversed icy
sidewalks like they
were diamonds
because they were as
dangerous to my feet
as cut stones would be

and you were that precious.

and i counted
and lettered the stairs.

but like a comet arcing,
you fell, my peach
and the stairs crumbled
beneath my feet.

sometimes when i
lie below them
unable to rise
i see the stars
shining overhead
i count them
and i hear you
correcting me:
"No Mommy, no.
Not 23, 24, 25.
W, X, Y."

and i wonder
how you learned
those letters.